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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/27342709">Ruby's RWBY-JNPR Sports-a-thon</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/BryonNightshade/pseuds/BryonNightshade'>BryonNightshade</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>RWBY</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Alcohol, Gen, He has regrets, Humor, Jaune knows stuff, Just not useful stuff, Let the kids play a little, New uses for semblances, Oblivious Jaune Arc, Oblivious Lie Ren, One-Sided Attraction, Opposite-of-oblivious Yang, Sports as an excuse for character moments, Team Nefarious joins the fray, Team attacks gone wrong, Torchwick accidentally corrupts Penny, Try-hard Weiss, Weiss suffers</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-11-02</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-12-13</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-07 00:41:47</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>7</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>26,813</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/27342709</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/BryonNightshade/pseuds/BryonNightshade</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Ruby's love of team-building activities sparks an ongoing sports competition with Team JNPR. There will be thrills and spills as the teams bring to bear their auras, semblances, and very loose understandings of the rules. Featuring basketball, football, and… chess? Okay, who let Jaune pick a sport?</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Minor or Background Relationship(s)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>17</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>21</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. Basketball</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>Preface: this nonsense is set during the Good Times at Beacon, with RWBY and JNPR enjoying being super-powered teenagers without the specter of doom looming overhead. Also, this probably only matters to me, but: I understand that there's no logical reason Remnant has all of our modern-day sports and games. A different world would develop its own, like the "Four Kingdoms" board game we see them play. But Remnant apparently has chess, and RWBY Chibi did a soccer bit, and this is just for fun, so here we go.</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>"Number thirty-two on the list of Super Happy Fun Time Activities!" said Ruby Rose with almost indecent enthusiasm, her voice ringing out above the general hubbub of Beacon's cafeteria. "Team-themed manis and pedis!"</p>
<p>"Team-themed?" said Weiss Schnee skeptically.</p>
<p>"Each digit gets a different team member's color."</p>
<p>Weiss recoiled as if the idea caused her physical pain. "That's disgusting. Have you even imagined what that would look like?"</p>
<p>"Of course, duh," said Ruby. "And have you imagined how <em>awesome</em> it would be for us to do jazz hands with all those colors? It'd be like Team RWBY confetti, without having to clean up afterwards!"</p>
<p>"I have never in my life done jazz hands," said Blake Belladonna flatly without looking up from her book. "I'm not about to start now."</p>
<p>"Yeah," said Yang Xiao Long, "as much as I wallow in poor taste, even I have to draw the line somewhere. Sorry, sis."</p>
<p>"Hmph," said Ruby. "Oh, fine, we can save that for later."</p>
<p>Yang gave a cough that sounded suspiciously like 'never'. Ruby didn't seem to notice; she was circling words on an absurdly long roll of paper filled with her chicken-scratch writing. A few of the items had lines through them to signal their successful completion ("success" being a subjective term). Most had been circled for "later", having been voted down by the rest of the team.</p>
<p>If this dampened Ruby's spirit for team bonding activities, she was hiding it well.</p>
<p>"Number thirty-three!" Ruby said, rolling the paper along. "Sports competitions with Team JNPR!"</p>
<p>"Hey, now that's something I could get behind," said Yang, sidling up alongside Ruby. "Which sports are we talking about?"</p>
<p>"Well, we'd have to talk to them about it," said Ruby, pointing to the next table. The members of Team JNPR were enjoying their breakfast and apparently minding their own business. Nora was dominating the conversation, as usual. Pyrrha was doing her best to stay polite and pay attention; Ren was concentrating wholly on his food; and Jaune was trying not to be too obvious about the glances he was shooting in Weiss' direction.</p>
<p>"Let's do it, then," said Yang, and she made to rise from her seat.</p>
<p>"Don't go over there," hissed Weiss, "we haven't agreed to anything!"</p>
<p>"Yeah," said Blake, "I'm not sure I'm about all the running and jumping and screaming and stuff."</p>
<p>"You do it in combat practice," Ruby pointed out.</p>
<p>"But not for fun," said Blake. "Especially not with Team JNPR. Don't get me wrong, I'd love to dunk all over Team CRDL, but JNPR doesn't deserve that."</p>
<p>"Hey sis," said Ruby in the voice of a lioness who's just spotted the weakest zebra, "it sounds to me like Blake likes basketball."</p>
<p>Blake didn't look up, but her eye twitched.</p>
<p>"Sounds like that to me," agreed Yang. "That 'dunk all over' expression came awfully easily to mind."</p>
<p>"Why shouldn't it?" said Blake, and her voice was very nearly controlled. "It's a common phrase."</p>
<p>"I suppose so," said Yang keenly. "You'd probably be bad at basketball anyway."</p>
<p>The book snapped shut like a mousetrap. "Say that again," hissed Blake, ears making her bow twitch as her emotions got away from her.</p>
<p>"What, you mean you can play a little?" said Ruby, her face a picture of earnest innocence.</p>
<p>"Every faunus can play basketball," said Blake, eyes narrow, hackles up. "It's practically the sport of the species. Meet me on the court and I'll break your ankles."</p>
<p>"Blake, I love your spirit!" said Ruby with a thumbs-up. "But save it for Team JNPR, okay?"</p>
<p>Realizing, perhaps too late, that she'd been had, Blake's attention went to the unsuspecting team sitting nearby. She pursed her lips for a moment. "Fine."</p>
<p>"Well, you all have fun," said Weiss dismissively. "I have better things to do with my time."</p>
<p>Ruby and Yang shared a glance. Ruby winked at Yang, who grinned. "Oh Weiiiiss," said Yang.</p>
<p>Weiss gave a much put-upon sigh. "Yes, Yang?" she said, in a voice that suggested she'd rather not hear whatever was about to be said.</p>
<p>"JNPR was smack-talking Atlas."</p>
<p>Weiss froze. "No they weren't," she said, reflexively.</p>
<p>"They totally were," Yang insisted. "I heard them. They were saying Atlas Academy must be pretty pathetic if you're studying here."</p>
<p>"That's not why…" Weiss burst out, before containing herself. "Atlas is above such petty malice, literally and figuratively."</p>
<p>"That was just the start. They were laughing really hard. Even Ren was laughing at Atlas, and I'd never seen him laugh before."</p>
<p>Weiss' jaw dropped. She gave Yang a penetrating look, but Yang's poker face held. She even managed to add, "And that was before I heard what Pyrrha was saying…"</p>
<p>Both of Weiss' hands slammed onto the table. She took a moment to breathe, then stalked around the table, heading for the unsuspecting JNPR. Behind her, Ruby offered Yang a fist-bump, which the older sister accepted.</p>
<p>"Hey, Weiss," Jaune started, nervous as ever when talking to the heiress, but as her fury became evident he shrank away from her. "W-what's up?"</p>
<p>Weiss started with her haughtiest head-toss. "I expected better of all of you," she said disdainfully. "Especially you, Pyrrha."</p>
<p>Pyrrha blinked. "Better than…?"</p>
<p>"Now I am obliged to defend the honor of Atlas," Weiss cut her off. "On behalf of Team RWBY, I challenge you all."</p>
<p>Pyrrha's confusion morphed into intrigue. "You challenge us? To what?"</p>
<p>"To sports competitions!" cheered Ruby, appearing in front of Weiss in a blizzard of rose petals.</p>
<p>"Sports?" said Pyrrha, losing certainty, but Nora was already rising to the occasion.</p>
<p>Stomping dramatically on her chair, Nora crossed her arms and laughed. "Any sport, any time, any where. We'll take you on whenever you're ready to lose!"</p>
<p>"We will?" said Ren, startled, but nobody paid attention to him.</p>
<p>"Well, I'm always ready," said Yang brashly.</p>
<p>Jaune frowned and raised a finger, as if to question Yang's answer, but he thought better of it.</p>
<p>"We'll start with the greatest sport on Remnant," said Blake, joining her team. "Basketball. See you in the gym after our last class, but before dinner."</p>
<p>"Don't worry," said Pyrrha, looking Blake dead in the eye. "We won't run away."</p>
<p>The color that rose in Blake's cheeks was so hot and intense it looked like she might ignite her eyebrows. "Oooh," said Ruby in an undertone. "She just went there."</p>
<p>For a moment it looked like a catfight was about to erupt, but Blake just barely mastered herself. "Team!" she yowled. "Come on, we've got to strategize. We're going to dunk JNPR straight to hell."</p>
<p>"Been there, done that," said Nora dismissively. "Hot and stuff, demons and whatever. No biggie."</p>
<p>"Shouldn't we strategize?" said Jaune uncertainly, as Team RWBY huddled at their table. "I feel like we should."</p>
<p>"We should," said Pyrrha, and an uncharacteristic nervousness was stealing over her. "We can start with… explaining the rules."</p>
<p>The rest of Team JNPR stared at Pyrrha. "You've never played basketball?" said Ren.</p>
<p>Pyrrha shrugged bashfully. "They tagged me as a potential Huntress at a really young age. Some of these development pipelines overspecialize, you know? I was discouraged from doing any physical activities that weren't part of Huntress training."</p>
<p>Jaune blinked. "Then you've never played soccer or football or baseball either, have you?"</p>
<p>Pyrrha nervously poked her fingers together. That was answer enough.</p>
<p>"Why are we doing this again?" said Ren.</p>
<p>"Because we can't run away from a challenge!" Nora said, flexing.</p>
<p>"I can," Ren replied. "I do it all the time."</p>
<p>"But I won't," said Nora. "And you wouldn't just abandon me to handle this on my own, would you?"</p>
<p>Ren found himself unable to meet Nora's eyes, but he said nothing.</p>
<p>"That's what I thought," said Nora triumphantly. "Now, let's explain the rules for Pyrrha."</p>
<p>"Basketball is about putting a ball through a hoop that's ten feet off the ground," Jaune said. "But you can't carry the ball or run with it. If you're moving with it, you have to dribble—bounce the ball on the ground—or pass. We'll show you what that looks like when we get to the gym."</p>
<p>"And, unfortunately, it's not really a contact sport," said Nora regretfully. "You can't just throw people out of your way, you have to go around them."</p>
<p>"Or throw the ball over them," Jaune added.</p>
<p>"I think I'm following," Pyrrha said. "Blake mentioned 'dunking'?"</p>
<p>"That's when you put the ball through the hoop point-blank," Jaune said. "You get all the way to the hoop and slam it down."</p>
<p>Pyrrha nodded slowly. "So it's a game of height," she said.</p>
<p>"Some, yeah," admitted Nora.</p>
<p>Pyrrha ran two fingers along her fork, then raised the fingers into the air. The fork followed, and hovered, bound by her semblance.</p>
<p>She smiled tightly. "In that case, I think we have a fighting chance."</p>
<hr/>
<p>The two teams assembled in the gym. Everyone was wearing some combination of shorts and t-shirts. Ruby had supplemented hers with her cape, because of course she did.</p>
<p>"Let's go over this one more time," said Ruby to her team. "Blake will guard Ren because they have similar agility. Yang gets Pyrrha because she's probably their strongest and most skilled player. Weiss will guard Jaune because…" she shared a glance with Yang, who was smirking. "…reasons."</p>
<p>"Will you be telling me what those reasons are?" Weiss said.</p>
<p>"We think you have the tools to neutralize him," said Ruby, and she sounded sincere, although she was smiling an awful lot, and Yang was openly sniggering.</p>
<p>Weiss tossed her head. "You're just lucky JNPR insulted Atlas."</p>
<p>"That leaves me on Nora," said Ruby with a wince. "She's a lot stronger than me, but she's not that tall, so I can slow her down. Even so, we'll have to score a lot to win this."</p>
<p>Blake's expression was as dire as it'd been when she'd charged alone into a White Fang den. "Leave that to me."</p>
<p>Ruby nodded. "Blake can take any of their players one-on-one. Yang, you set picks and go for rebounds. I'll dance around the three-point line and take long-range shots. Weiss, you'll make passes and set us up. When we see how JNPR guards us, we'll start hunting mismatches like we hunt grimm."</p>
<p>Yang frowned. "By charging right at them, guns blazing?"</p>
<p>"No," said Ruby, irritated.</p>
<p>"By trying to one-vee-one an ancient Deathstalker?" said Weiss with a pointed look.</p>
<p>"No!"</p>
<p>Blake cocked her head. "By wandering into their nest and then…"</p>
<p>"NO! I mean we'll go for their weak spots!"</p>
<p>The other huntresses shared a look, then shrugged. "I guess that's one way to do it," Yang admitted. "But my way's at least twenty percent cooler!"</p>
<p>"Here they come," Ruby said, pointing.</p>
<p>Team JNPR was a wall of confidence, inasmuch as Nora was solid as a wall. Ren was impassive as ever; Pyrrha looked cool and calm; and Jaune seemed to be rethinking all his life choices with every step he took.</p>
<p>"Time for you to crash and burn!" said Nora, raising a fist.</p>
<p>"A Schnee neither crashes nor burns," said Weiss haughtily. She looked to her teammates. "Shall we take out the trash, then?"</p>
<p>"We need someone for the tip-off," said Ruby. "Velvet! Hey, Velvet!"</p>
<p>The photographer-faunus jerked at the sound of her name and eased her camera down. "Yes, Ruby?"</p>
<p>"We need some help with a tip-off to start our game!"</p>
<p>Velvet relaxed and smiled. "Sure thing, be right there."</p>
<p>"You're up, Blake," said Ruby, patting her teammate on the shoulder. "Go get 'em!"</p>
<p>Ren was approaching the tip-off circle from the other side; Jaune and Nora were behind, with Pyrrha almost invisible in the back.</p>
<p>"Good luck, everyone!" said Velvet as she hefted the basketball. She glanced at the competitors to ensure they were ready, and lofted it.</p>
<p>On worlds without auras, semblances, or magic, the tip-off is only thrown about double the players' heights. Those worlds are not Remnant.</p>
<p>Velvet launched it with considerable force. Both Blake and Ren were leaping for the ball the moment it left Velvet's hands, chasing it towards the ceiling. And, somehow, Ren out-leapt Blake for the ball, tipping it behind him to his waiting team.</p>
<p>There was no time to be indignant about this. Nora was driving hard, and Ruby was not big or strong enough to stop her. Almost before everyone else could get organized, Nora was leaning past Ruby for a layup.</p>
<p>"First blood!" Nora boasted.</p>
<p>"But not the last," Ruby promised. Gathering the ball out of bounds, she passed long-distance to Weiss. Weiss looked quite surprised to have the ball in her hands. She took one amateurish, two-handed dribble before panic overtook her. Somehow, she accidentally did the right thing and passed to Blake.</p>
<p>Blake was already in motion. She darted around and through JNPR, splitting their defense and leaving them stumbling in her wake. She got close and rose for an easy layup.</p>
<p>Jaune met her in the air. It was clearly a mighty leap for him; his arms were flailing out-of-control as he rose along with Blake. One of his windmilling arms hit the ball and deflected it.</p>
<p>Out to Ruby.</p>
<p>Who, thanks to Blake's drive and JNPR's overreaction to it, was completely unguarded at the three-point line.</p>
<p>With the preternatural accuracy of a born and trained sniper, Ruby buried the shot. "Three-to-two!" she crowed, as Jaune got off the ground, clutching his head from his crash landing.</p>
<p>JNPR got the ball again. Pyrrha, to RWBY's surprise, backed away to the perimeter, taking Yang with her. Blake blanketed Ren, denying passes to him, but Nora started to work on Ruby again. This time Ruby's position was better, so Nora dumped the ball off to Jaune.</p>
<p>Jaune swung around.</p>
<p>Weiss was in front of him.</p>
<p>Jaune froze.</p>
<p>He didn't literally freeze—none of the Ice Queen's favorite dust was in use—but he did go motionless, despite the fact that Weiss wasn't guarding him with very much technique or even raised arms.</p>
<p>"Get her, Jaune!" called Nora.</p>
<p>He started to pivot, but when the motion took him closer to Weiss, he halted. She blinked up at him; he quailed under her gaze.</p>
<p>"Don't be a gentleman, drive on her!" demanded Nora.</p>
<p>Jaune took one hand off the ball and gave Weiss a small wave. "Hi," he said, voice cracking.</p>
<p>"Jaune!"</p>
<p>Jaune put his free hand behind his head. "So… uh… you come here often?"</p>
<p>Weiss arched an eyebrow at him.</p>
<p>The ball vanished.</p>
<p>Ren had swung by, Blake hot on his heels, and tipped the ball out of Jaune's unprotecting grasp. He angled for the basket. Blake had position to chase him down, so as he jumped, he bounced a pass to Nora. Nora and Ruby both leapt, but Nora kept rising even after Ruby was on her way down; her shot went over Ruby's fingertips and sank into the basket.</p>
<p>"Ruby, how can you let her out-jump you?" called Yang, still guarding Pyrrha in the corner.</p>
<p>Nora stomped theatrically. "Thunder thighs aren't just for show! JNPR on top, four-to-three!"</p>
<p>Ruby watched the presentation in annoyance, but a hint of suspicion was on her face.</p>
<p>Blake started her dribble near the top of the court. Ren marked her, knowing he was overmatched but game to try. Jaune matched up with Yang to pair the teams' biggest bodies, Nora chased after Ruby even though the speed disadvantage was stark, and Pyrrha—to Team RWBY's collective puzzlement—followed the relatively harmless Weiss to a relatively harmless part of the court.</p>
<p>"Bee-bumble!" called Ruby.</p>
<p>Blake nodded and leaned forward, dribbling intensely, the ball pattering quickly against the court. Ren mirrored her, arms spread wide, ready for any move she made, focusing intently on her.</p>
<p>She made her break, as he knew she would, darting to her left. He was with her step-for-step, and—</p>
<p>There was no warning. The shape loomed out of nowhere, and then he was plowing into it.</p>
<p>Yang.</p>
<p>Specifically, Yang's…</p>
<p>"Did you just floor my man with your chest?!" screamed Nora as Blake, given a free pass by Yang's pick, took the ball to the hoop and savagely dunked it.</p>
<p>Yang shrugged nonchalantly, further emphasizing the guilty anatomy. "He wouldn't be the first."</p>
<p>Ruby pumped her fist and, before Nora could complain any more, called out, "RWBY leads, five-four!"</p>
<p>The game continued in that vein for some time. Team RWBY had more skill and better tactics. Team JNPR countered with size and outrageous athleticism.</p>
<p>Which grew ever more maddening for Ruby Rose, because JNPR, while admittedly in top shape, shouldn't have been able to jump <em>that</em> much more than RWBY…</p>
<p>Ren, having just landed a dunk, gave the ball back to Blake. "JNPR, nineteen to fifteen," he said.</p>
<p>"Freezer burn!" called Ruby.</p>
<p>While Blake dribbled, Yang and Weiss moved towards each other; Jaune and Pyrrha dutifully followed. Abruptly, Yang and Weiss came to a stop standing next to each other, creating a cluster of four bodies.</p>
<p>Ruby came rocketing around this traffic jam just as Blake started a drive, leaving Nora in her dust. As Ren followed Blake, Blake tossed the ball backwards to Ruby, who set her feet for a three-point shot.</p>
<p>Nora leapt in a hopeless attempt to contest the shot. Her jump was leaving her well short of Ruby's arc… but then it was like she jumped again, somehow, gaining a new burst of momentum in mid-air. When Ruby released the ball anyway, it ricocheted off of Nora's outstretched arm and bounced off the hammer girl's face.</p>
<p>"No way!" Ruby said as Nora slid to a halt. She took two determined steps and seized Nora's foot, which was still up in the air, twitching. Nora's shoe had a thin sheet of metal wrapped around its whole perimeter, with more worked up underneath the laces.</p>
<p>Ruby gave an angry look at the distant Mistrali Champion. "Pyrrha!"</p>
<p>What was unmistakably guilt stole over Pyrrha's face. "Y-yes?"</p>
<p>Ruby shook Nora's shoe. "Care to explain the metal on all your teammates' shoes and their suddenly-improved leaping abilities?"</p>
<p>Pyrrha poked two fingers together. "Well," she said bashfully, "we… we never actually <em>said</em> 'no semblances', did we?"</p>
<p>Weiss, Blake, and Yang all gave outraged looks, but Ruby's face instead showed a sinister smile. "No, we didn't," she said brightly. "Timeout! Team RWBY, huddle!"</p>
<p>"Team JNPR, likewise," called Jaune.</p>
<p>"I overplayed my hand," Pyrrha apologized. "I'm sorry."</p>
<p>He gave a sympathetic look. "I'm glad we kept it a secret as long as we did. You did great. But now the cat's out of the bag." (Behind him, Blake sneezed at random.) "Any ideas?"</p>
<p>Ren and Nora shared a glance. "Our semblances are pretty specialized," Ren said.</p>
<p>"And I don't have one," said Jaune self-consciously. He looked at Pyrrha. "It's all up to you, then! You don't have to be subtle now. Show 'em what you can do."</p>
<p>"Done," said Pyrrha firmly.</p>
<p>"I can't believe them!" said Weiss indignantly.</p>
<p>"I can," muttered Yang.</p>
<p>"Focus, team," said Ruby. "If we're using semblances, let's use semblances. Weiss, you're guarding Pyrrha now. JNPR's only using her for her semblance. Counter with your glyphs."</p>
<p>Weiss smirked. "I always wanted to test myself against the Invincible Girl."</p>
<p>"Yang, that puts you on Jaune."</p>
<p>The brawler smacked her hands together. "Bring him on."</p>
<p>Ruby smiled again, eager, excited. "Let's show them Team RWBY at full force. We'll start with Ice Flowers. Break!"</p>
<p>Blake took the ball once more. She checked the ball with Ren, who signaled her to proceed. Yang went towards the basket, with Jaune following. Weiss and Ruby both went left, with Pyrrha and Nora following them. Abruptly Ruby reversed course and activated her semblance, whipping all the way around to the right corner. Blake's pass found her just as the rose petals dispersed.</p>
<p>Ren saw the danger coming and followed Blake's pass to Ruby. He closed out at her; each step took him into the air as Pyrrha raised him into Ruby's way. Ruby started her shooting motion anyway. As she squared her shot, a white glyph appeared in front of her. The ball shot forward like it was fired from a sniper-scythe. Ren's arms closed far too late; the ball passed through a black glyph to slow it down, smacked hard against the backboard, and dropped through the hoop.</p>
<p>"Nineteen-eighteen, JNPR," Ruby said smugly. "Let's get back on defense, RWBY, lock them up and we can take the lead next possession!"</p>
<p>"Air cavalry!" shouted Jaune, abandoning subtlety. He jumped into the air.</p>
<p>And didn't come down.</p>
<p>He hung, suspended by Pyrrha's power, above Yang's furiously waving arms. Ren's pass, far too high for even Blake to contest, fell to him in the air; from his elevated perch, he had a clean shot, and took it.</p>
<p>A black glyph appeared in front of the ball. It lost all momentum and dropped straight down into Ruby's waiting arms.</p>
<p>Nora pouted. "I'm pretty sure that counts as goaltending."</p>
<p>"Oh, <em>now</em> we're playing by the rules?" Weiss said mockingly as she dispelled her glyph.</p>
<p>"Yeah," said Yang, gesturing at the still-floating Jaune, "traveling is if you take more than two steps, but how many steps does flying count for?"</p>
<p>"It's just hang time!" Jaune insisted.</p>
<p>"Blake!" yelled Ruby, interrupting the banter. Amidst the distraction, Ruby passed the ball to Blake, who drove for the basket. Ren was behind the action, chasing her, but she was ahead—</p>
<p>Pyrrha, solving the problem directly, threw Jaune at Blake.</p>
<p>Only to watch as Blake fizzled out of existence and resolved on the other side of the basket. Ren tried to adjust course to chase her and nearly broke his ankles. As two of Team JNPR's members slid across the court, Blake threw down a thunderous dunk.</p>
<p>"And <em>that's</em> not traveling?" said Nora.</p>
<p>"It's a Mistral-step," said Blake. "Watch." She took what appeared to be a hop to the side, only she blurred out and covered ten feet of distance.</p>
<p>"Species sport of the faunus, eh?" said Yang.</p>
<p>Blake smirked harder than ever.</p>
<p>"Ow," said Jaune.</p>
<p>The game shifted dramatically. With Ruby essentially unguardable and Blake penetrating to the rim at will, the two combined to score the game's next ten points. Yang tossed in some gratuitous hard picks for good measure, while Weiss' glyphs did just enough to offset Pyrrha's semblance to keep JNPR from stabilizing.</p>
<p>"Twenty-eight to nineteen!" Ruby shouted gleefully as Ren started his dribble.</p>
<p>"Fine," said Jaune impatiently. "You wanna play rough? We can play rough. Pomegrenade!"</p>
<p>Ren and Pyrrha looked at Jaune in alarm; Nora whooped a war cry and ran for Pyrrha.</p>
<p>Ren started a drive, which Blake chased, but it was a fake to get her out of the way; he pulled up immediately and wound up a pass to Nora. He knew the black glyph was coming, and sent a bounce pass shooting under it and past Ruby's outstretched fingers.</p>
<p>Nora caught the ball and immediately leapt. Pyrrha knelt down, caught Nora's feet with her hands, and used all of her considerable aura-boosted strength and a hefty dose of semblance to send the Valkyrie flying.</p>
<p>Nora grinned as she nearly scraped the ceiling.</p>
<p>"Uh oh," said Ruby.</p>
<p>Nora came down with the most ferocious dunk the gym had ever seen. Also, possibly the last dunk the gym would ever see.</p>
<p>She slammed the ball through with so much force the rim bent almost straight down. The backboard glass shattered into a thousand pieces, raining down upon the stunned teams and the adrenaline-charged Nora and plinking off their auras. There was nothing left to hold the rim up; Nora dropped to the ground, face alight with the rush.</p>
<p>"Did you SEE THAT?!" Nora cried, holding up the ruined rim like a trophy.</p>
<p>"How could we not see that?" said Ren helplessly.</p>
<p>"That should count double!" Nora crowed. "That's a four-point dunk right there! Tell me I'm wrong!"</p>
<p>The team leaders, slack-jawed, looked at each other. "Whoops?" said Jaune.</p>
<p>"That's a big 'whoops'," was the scathing reply.</p>
<p>"I… guess the game's over?" said Jaune.</p>
<p>"It sure looks like it."</p>
<p>"Twenty-eight to twenty-one, then?"</p>
<p>Ruby shrugged. "Eh, give her the four-point dunk. It was pretty awesome. Twenty-eight to twenty-three."</p>
<p>"That's generous, thanks. But… what now?"</p>
<p>"Well… I think we anonymously call down Professor Goodwitch…"</p>
<p>"…and then run away really fast."</p>
<p>"Yep."</p>
<hr/>
<p>
  <em>RWBY leads, 1-0.</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>Next time: football.</em>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. Football</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Who needs pads when you have aura?</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>"Those are… a lot of rules," said Pyrrha, looking askance at the document Jaune had produced.</p>
<p>"Well, if you want to play it properly…" Jaune began.</p>
<p>Nora blew a raspberry. "Between us and Team RWBY, what are the odds we do it properly?"</p>
<p>"Good point," Jaune allowed. "Okay, so the game is football, backyard style. One player is the quarterback, and their job is to throw the ball. Two players run out as receivers to catch the ball. One player starts each play by hiking the ball to the quarterback, and then blocks. Then the team tries to get the ball down the field to the end zone, by passing or running. If a pass isn't caught or the running player <em>is</em> caught, that's the end of the play."</p>
<p>"And you've gotta reach the end zone in four plays or you FAIL!" said Nora, unable to contain herself.</p>
<p>Jaune frowned. "I thought you get four more plays if you complete two passes."</p>
<p>Ren looked surprised. "You never played with auras and semblances, did you?"</p>
<p>"Well… no," said Jaune, flushing self-consciously.</p>
<p>"Maybe non-Huntsmen play that way," said Nora, "but we go bigger."</p>
<p>"Fine," said Jaune. "Oh! And the quarterback can run, too, but only after five seconds."</p>
<p>"Why?" asked Pyrrha.</p>
<p>Jaune hesitated. "That's just how the game goes."</p>
<p>"Even the simple version sounds like it has a lot of rules," said Pyrrha disapprovingly.</p>
<p>"Don't even get me started on the 'catch' rules," Jaune said with a shudder. He dropped his voice and added, "It's kind of a silly game."</p>
<p>"Call it 'silly' again and I'll hammer you into the ground like a tent spike," growled Nora.</p>
<p>"I think I have it," said Pyrrha hurriedly, sparing Jaune. "And no special techniques like dribbling that I don't know?"</p>
<p>"Just throwing, and you're a pro at throwing things already," said Jaune, shooting nervous glances at Nora. "I think you should be our quarterback."</p>
<p>"I'll be blocking on the line," said Nora with almost lustful relish.</p>
<p>"That leaves Ren and me as receivers," said Jaune. "How do we think Team RWBY will play?"</p>
<hr/>
<p>"Blake should be quarterback," said Ruby.</p>
<p>Blake's mouth twitched. "You'll… have to tell me how," she said. "The faunus play a lot of basketball, but we're not much for football."</p>
<p>"You'll be fine," said Ruby. "It just means you'll be the one throwing the ball to us. You play setup in most of our combo attacks already, and with your semblance you can get away from anyone they send to chase you."</p>
<p>The faunus girl nodded, though still clearly uncertain. Weiss raised an eyebrow. "Oh, so we're going with semblances from the start this time?"</p>
<p>"I don't see why we wouldn't," said Ruby.</p>
<p>"Yeah, you honestly think they won't have Pyrrha magnetizing everyone in sight?" said Yang.</p>
<p>"After last time, I wouldn't put it past them," said Weiss. "Then I'm on glyph duty?"</p>
<p>"We need you to be a receiving threat, too," said Ruby. "I can't be everywhere, and we can't be too predictable. And Yang can't do it, because Yang is blocking."</p>
<p>Yang smirked. "Ah, you know me too well, sis."</p>
<p>"You don't just have to use your glyphs in a support role," Ruby went on. "Use them to get position so Blake can find you with her passes."</p>
<p>At last Weiss cracked what might almost have been a shadow of a smile. "That I can do."</p>
<p>"I know you can," Ruby said with her typical sincerity. "Let's go."</p>
<p>As she opened the door, she saw that Neptune and Sun were standing in the hallway. Neptune reacted instantly. "Ladies," he said with a wink.</p>
<p>"Hi, Neptune," deadpanned Ruby, unwilling to look back at her teammates to see their reactions. "What are you two doing out here?"</p>
<p>"We were…" began Neptune in a suave voice, but Sun talked over him.</p>
<p>"…trying to think of a good reason to knock so we could see you all again, but you came out on your own, so, mission accomplished!"</p>
<p>Neptune rolled his eyes. "You've got no game at all."</p>
<p>"Speaking of games, we're on our way to one," said Ruby impatiently, "so if you'll excuse us…"</p>
<p>"Oh, games? I love games! What kind?" said Sun with almost Ruby-ish exuberance.</p>
<p>"This is a team bonding exercise," came Blake's voice, and she was clearly struggling to reconcile her personal distaste for the idea with its utility for warding off Sun. "Just us and Team JNPR."</p>
<p>"Oh, like your basketball game that wrecked the gym?" Sun said.</p>
<p>Team RWBY gave a collective flinch. "Yeah, like that," said Yang, the member of the team with the least capacity for shame.</p>
<p>"Awesome!" said Sun with a fist-pump. "When I heard about that, I knew I had to catch the next one! No way I'm missing this!"</p>
<p>"Fine," harrumphed Ruby. "Come on, team."</p>
<hr/>
<p>"Why are they here?" Jaune asked Ruby. By the sidelines of the field, Sun was working himself into a cheering frenzy and had produced, from somewhere, a giant foam hand with one finger raised (no, not <em>that</em> finger). Neptune was taking his life into his own hands by trying to chat up Yang.</p>
<p>"You try and make them leave," said Ruby dully.</p>
<p>"I don't think I will," said Jaune mischievously. "They're not doing any harm. They can stay. So, shall we get this show on the road?"</p>
<p>Ruby perked right up again. "You bet! First to ten touchdowns wins?"</p>
<p>"Sounds good to me," said Jaune. "And no punting, right?"</p>
<p>"Pfft, punting is for cowards," Ruby said with a dismissive wave. "If we die, we die like Huntresses."</p>
<p>"That's fair. Now…" he winced, already dreading the answer to his next question. "Two-hand touch, or tackle?"</p>
<p>"Tackle!" shouted Nora and Yang simultaneously as they appeared beside their team leads.</p>
<p>"The people have spoken," said Ruby.</p>
<p>"I guess that's what aura is for," said Jaune resignedly. "But we get the ball first, since you won the basketball game."</p>
<p>"Well, that's reassuring," said Weiss. "I'm glad to see you're not too stubborn to accept the handicap you so obviously need."</p>
<p>There was a moment of blinking, before Nora said, "I'm, like, seventy percent sure you just insulted us."</p>
<p>"And if I did? You shouldn't have insulted Atlas." She turned to avoid facing JNPR. "Get in position so we can start, won't you?"</p>
<p>As Team JNPR headed for where they'd start the game, Ren leaned closer to Nora. "When, exactly, did we insult Atlas?"</p>
<p>"Beats me. We probably ate too much ice cream or something."</p>
<p>"Well, you didn't exactly share…"</p>
<p>"I was hungry!"</p>
<p>JNPR took position. Nora stood astride the ball, bent over, with her hand on its nose. Pyrrha stood behind her, uncertain. "Um… how do I get the ball from her?"</p>
<p>"I'll be quarterback for the first play," Ren replied. "Watch, then you can get it from then on."</p>
<p>"Okay," Pyrrha said with a nod, and she moved to the side opposite Jaune.</p>
<p>Ren walked up behind Nora and placed his hands beneath her bottom. "Hike!" he shouted. Nora brought the ball up into his hands just in time to fend off a charge from Yang. Nora and Yang immediately started grappling with each other while Jaune and (after a moment's hesitation) Pyrrha started running.</p>
<p>Pyrrha saw Blake shadowing her. Pyrrha was ignorant of sports in general, but as a trained fighter she knew footwork. She watched Blake to gauge her movements, feinted to her own left, then broke hard to the right. Blake was a half step behind in following her. Pyrrha's eyes went back to Ren. He saw her coming open, and threw the ball to meet her.</p>
<p>Pyrrha felt a rush of pleasure as she saw what was going to happen, saw how she was going to catch—</p>
<p>A black glyph appeared before the football. As the ball passed through the glyph, it lost all momentum and dropped.</p>
<p>"Hey! Who said we were using semblances?!" demanded Jaune.</p>
<p>"Uh, you guys did, the last time we played," said Ruby scornfully.</p>
<p>Jaune exchanged looks with Ren and Pyrrha. (Nora, either oblivious or uncaring that the play had ended, was still wrestling Yang.) "We thought everyone would realize it was silly, after the damage we did to the basketball court because we used semblances."</p>
<p>"It didn't seem silly to us," said Ruby.</p>
<p>"We'll be using ours," said Blake. "If you want to use yours, we're not stopping you."</p>
<p>"Woo-hoo! Go team!" shouted Sun from the sidelines.</p>
<p>"In that case, we need a minute," said Pyrrha as she walked for the sidelines.</p>
<p>Neptune realized a beat late that she was closing on him. He froze, uncertain, then reverted to his default behavior. "Hey," he said, giving her a finger gun, "how can I help a lady like you?"</p>
<p>"You could call your locker for me," she said, suddenly demure, almost shy.</p>
<p>He never had a chance. His scroll seemed to leap to his hand. "On its way," he said. Only then did his brain engage. "Why do you need it?"</p>
<p>It crashed down beside him, embedding itself into the turf as per usual.</p>
<p>"Raw material," was Pyrrha's more businesslike answer. She raised both hands and slowly spread them. The locker started to shear apart.</p>
<p>"Hey, waitaminute!" said Neptune, but it was far too late for that. Pyrrha was peeling the locker into strips; each strip wrapped itself around a shoe of a member of Team JNPR. Wrist straps followed next, and then (despite a little complaining) belts.</p>
<p>When every member of Team JNPR was magnetized to Pyrrha's satisfaction, she turned back to Neptune long enough to say, "Thank you!" before returning to the field.</p>
<p>"Man, I love seeing her work," said Sun, clapping Neptune on the shoulder.</p>
<p>Neptune shot Sun an aggrieved look. "She can use your locker next time, then."</p>
<p>"Hey!" sassed Yang. "You earned, like, five 'delay of game' penalties during all that."</p>
<p>"I didn't see that in the backyard rules rulebook," Jaune shot back.</p>
<p>"I think I can take the snap now," said Pyrrha. Coolly, professionally, she eased up behind Nora just as Nora bent to take the ball. "Hike!"</p>
<p>As before, Yang and Nora immediately went at each other. Yang's reach might have been an advantage in a fight, but in something like this Nora's lower center of gravity offset it, and their strengths were closely matched. Neither could make progress, which counted as a win for Nora.</p>
<p>Jaune was running, with Weiss following him (which effectively distracted him). Ren was on the far side of the field, closely marked by Blake. Ruby was watching Pyrrha, and loudly counting off the seconds, "One Menagerie, two Menagerie…"</p>
<p>Pyrrha scanned back and forth. Her receivers weren't getting open.</p>
<p>"Three Menagerie, four Menagerie…"</p>
<p>She started to throw, pulled it back, scanned again…</p>
<p>"Five Menagerie!" Ruby screamed. She locked her sights on Pyrrha and activated her semblance.</p>
<p>Pyrrha saw her coming. Even without her armor, the Invincible Girl was a solid mass of muscle, sinew, and aura who weighed half again what Ruby did. Before Ruby could get to her, she set her feet, lowered her shoulder, and braced for the impact.</p>
<p>The result was like a crow flying into a window.</p>
<p><em>Splat</em>.</p>
<p>Pyrrha raised her head and stepped away from Ruby, who was lying on the ground, muttering something about what was in her cookies. "I can run now, right?" Pyrrha called at large.</p>
<p>"Yes, do it!" shouted Ren, and he planted his feet to try and block Blake.</p>
<p>Tucking the ball down in her arms, Pyrrha started running. She saw Weiss and Blake converging, both trying to maneuver around Pyrrha's teammates. She gave a stutter-step at Weiss, then spun; the heiress flew past, out of control, grasping at air. Blake approached, but Pyrrha hit her with a textbook stiff arm, and the faunus ate dirt.</p>
<p>Pyrrha managed a few more yards before Yang caught up to her from behind and dragged her down. Cackling with glee, Pyrrha bounced to her feet. "This is more my kind of game!" she said.</p>
<p>"Attagirl, Pyrrha!" whooped Nora. The two bumped fists.</p>
<p>"Ow," was the collective response of Team RWBY.</p>
<p>"This time," said Pyrrha, her blood clearly up, "I want Jaune and Ren to just go as far as you can. Take your defenders with you. I won't even try to pass, I'll just wait the five seconds and then run. If they're foolish enough to put Ruby on me again, this'll be easy."</p>
<p>They weren't. Ruby was following Ren now; Weiss stayed with Jaune, while it was Blake staying opposite Pyrrha. <em>Good</em>, thought Pyrrha, her battle-calm not wholly dampening her relish. <em>A bigger target.</em></p>
<p>"Hike!"</p>
<p>Jaune and Ren obeyed instructions, and their defenders followed as Pyrrha had planned. Unfortunately for Team RWBY, Nora was able to get under Yang's guard and push her off-balance, opening a lane for Pyrrha. The Mistrali Champion didn't hesitate; the moment she heard Blake's mutter of "five Menagerie" she started running, going right at Blake.</p>
<p>Blake trembled. Pyrrha had about the same charging momentum as a full-grown boarbatusk, and Blake wanted no part of that, especially after being flattened on the previous play. Pyrrha's eyes were wide with excitement; Blake's were wide with fear.</p>
<p>Just as Pyrrha got to her, Blake blurred out; Pyrrha ran through shadow. One of Blake's arms tried to hook Pyrrha, but Pyrrha broke through effortlessly and kept running.</p>
<p>Weiss and Ruby circled back to stop her. Even after they hit her, Pyrrha dragged them another seven yards before she fell to the ground. In two runs she'd gotten almost all the way to the end zone.</p>
<p>Nora roared her approval as JNPR regrouped. "Great job, Pyrrha!"</p>
<p>"You're really something," said Jaune.</p>
<p>Pyrrha was glad she was already flushing with exertion. "Thanks," she said bashfully.</p>
<p>"We're real close now," said Nora. "That's the goal line right there."</p>
<p>"Have Ren take the snap," ordered Jaune.</p>
<p>Pyrrha was surprised—for a moment. Then she saw his design. "Done."</p>
<p>The moment Ren said "Hike", Pyrrha used her semblance and threw him up and over the entirety of Team RWBY. He traveled further vertically than he did horizontally and came down in the end zone.</p>
<p>On his back.</p>
<p>"I'm sorry!" said Pyrrha, abashed, but Ren didn't look at her. He looked at Jaune.</p>
<p>"You do it next time."</p>
<p>"I don't know what we can do about Pyrrha," said Blake. "She's a juggernaut."</p>
<p>"Well, that's what we chose," said Weiss scathingly. "<em>Someone</em> thought it'd be a good idea to play tackle against a team much, much bigger and stronger than us."</p>
<p>"I didn't say it was a good idea," said Yang with an unconcerned shrug. "It's just more fun. I'd rather lose playing tackle than win playing two-hand touch."</p>
<p>"Speak for yourself," grumbled Weiss.</p>
<p>"Team," protested Ruby, "we're not gonna do this! Listen, we may have trouble stopping Pyrrha, but they have no chance of stopping us! They have the strength, but we have the speed! If this becomes a shootout, we're totally in it. As long as we score on every possession, we only have to stop them once. Okay? We'll start with Icey Ladybug."</p>
<p>Properly rallied, Team RWBY took position, with Ruby and Weiss far apart from each other. In the middle was the ball, and Yang, who bent over and gripped the ball. She looked over her shoulder. "Ready, Blake?"</p>
<p>Blake wasn't. She hadn't approached Yang yet and was standing several feet behind. She was mentally projecting where, exactly, she'd have to put her hands relative to Yang's body. That seemed… personal. Really personal.</p>
<p>She bit her lip, conflicted.</p>
<p>Oblivious, Yang shrugged. "Shotgun snap it is. Just say 'hike'."</p>
<p>Blake frowned. "Um… Hike?"</p>
<p>Yang shot the ball up at Blake from between her legs; caught by surprise, Blake just barely managed to reel it in.</p>
<p>"Fire!" screamed Ruby, and she burst into rose petals.</p>
<p>Without thinking twice, Blake threw the ball as hard as she could. A series of white glyphs appeared, one after another. Each time the ball hit one, it accelerated, like some sort of football railgun.</p>
<p>The ball rocketed downfield almost faster than JNPR's necks could turn.</p>
<p>And there, waiting in the end zone at the end of the series of glyphs, was Ruby Rose.</p>
<p>The ball hit her in the gut with such force it caused her aura to spark, but she held on as it knocked her to the ground. Weiss gave a cutting smile at Team JNPR. "I believe that's a touchdown," she said mildly.</p>
<p>"Yeah!" hollered Yang, and she suplexed Nora just for the fun of it.</p>
<p>"I love them all," said Sun, impossibly happy.</p>
<p>The intensity level only went up from there.</p>
<p>Pyrrha walked into the end zone with a member of Team RWBY hanging from each limb.</p>
<p>Weiss scored a touchdown by leaping from glyph to glyph down the length of the field without ever touching the ground.</p>
<p>Pyrrha threw a pass into the end zone, apparently up for grabs, then threw Jaune up to meet it- forgetting that he still had no landing strategy.</p>
<p>Blake ran the length (and width) of the field on a seemingly endless play, semblance-ing out of every attempt to tackle her, until ninety seconds later she backed in for a touchdown almost on accident.</p>
<p>Ren somehow ended up with the ball in the end zone and no one on the field could say how it had happened.</p>
<p>Ruby left so many rose petals scattered across the field it was a hazard to traction.</p>
<p>Nora and Yang seemed oblivious to the score, who was playing offense or defense, the positions of the other players, and every other thing not related to power-bombing the girl in front of them.</p>
<p>No one could do anything resembling defense.</p>
<p>"Nine-eight!" said Pyrrha, tossing the ball to Ruby.</p>
<p>"We need a stop," said Jaune. "They're wearing us out."</p>
<p>Nora was panting, but at those words she perked up. "I've got an idea," she said, and headed for the sidelines.</p>
<p>"Now what?" said Neptune warily.</p>
<p>Nora gestured at what was left of his locker. "Your weapon's in there, right?"</p>
<p>"Yeah," he answered, guard up.</p>
<p>"It's an electro-glaive, isn't it?" Nora hadn't seen it in action, but word of it had gotten to Ruby, and the unreformed weapons nerd had gushed about it to everyone with ears.</p>
<p>"What if it is?" said Neptune.</p>
<p>Nora jerked her head. "Go get it."</p>
<p>Uncomprehending, Neptune complied, and hefted his weapon into a ready stance.</p>
<p>"Hit me."</p>
<p>Neptune looked at Sun. "Is she for real?"</p>
<p>"Better do it," said Sun.</p>
<p>"C'mon, hit me!" demanded Nora. "You a Huntsman or what?"</p>
<p>Tentatively, Neptune extended the head of his weapon, which was buzzing with potential. He intended to give her a bit of a nudge.</p>
<p>He did not expect her to grab the charged portion with a manic grin.</p>
<p>"Hey, hey!" he said in alarm as it began to discharge into her.</p>
<p>"Heh, heh," was her reply.</p>
<p>"Uh oh," said RWBY as they looked on.</p>
<p>After several more seconds of increasingly violent-looking sparking, Nora shoved Neptune's weapon away. "Oh yeah," she said, grinning maniacally. "That's the good stuff!"</p>
<p>Neptune examined his weapon, which was much duller-looking. "Hey! You drained the whole battery! It won't spark now!"</p>
<p>"Don't feel bad, lots of men have that problem," Nora called over her shoulder as she walked back onto the field. Each step seemed to make the earth tremble. As Yang straddled the ball, Nora set up opposite her and grinned. "Now it gets fun."</p>
<p>"Hike!" called Blake.</p>
<p>As soon as the ball cleared Yang's hand, Nora stood up, raised both hands, and gave Yang a bit of a shove.</p>
<p>Yang was sent tumbling head-over-heels for yards, almost into Blake. Only catlike reflexes and instantaneous use of semblance kept Blake safe.</p>
<p>"Here, kitty kitty!" said Nora as she gave chase.</p>
<p>"Nope, nope, nope," said Blake as she ran for her life.</p>
<p>Ruby was panicking. Blake would be lucky to escape Nora's clutches for long, and it was taking all her effort not to get caught—she had no time or attention to try to make a pass. Ruby started to call for Checkmate—but even glyphs and time dilation seemed unlikely to stop Nora on the rampage.</p>
<p>Now Yang was up and trying to get in Nora's way, give Blake a moment of breathing room. Aaaand now Yang was roadkill. Ouch. Ruby winced in sympathy.</p>
<p>Blake was actually running backwards now, trying to keep one step ahead…</p>
<p>Oh—run backwards!</p>
<p>Ruby semblanced to a spot ten yards behind and to the side of Blake, finally getting in the faunus girl's line of sight. "Over here!"</p>
<p>Blake desperately shoveled Ruby the ball; it only just reached her team leader. The next second Nora caught up to Blake, grabbed her arm, and launched her into low orbit.</p>
<p>Too late—Ruby was running downfield now, mixing bursts of semblance speed into her running, narrowly evading Ren, juking past Jaune—</p>
<p>And there was Pyrrha. She was set, just ahead of Ruby, ready to lunge for Ruby no matter what move the speedster made, and as much combat as she'd seen she'd likely make her move the same instant Ruby made hers…</p>
<p>Ruby slowed down as she approached Pyrrha, almost stopped for a moment, and then dodged right.</p>
<p>Pyrrha pushed off to follow—only her feet never left the ground, and she nearly fell over. Looking down, she saw a black glyph had formed at her feet.</p>
<p>She recognized what had happened. Ruby's hesitation had kept Pyrrha in one place long enough for Weiss to intervene with a glyph—and now Ruby was home-free, into the end zone.</p>
<p>"Nine-nine, nine-nine!" came her whooping calls. "Thanks, bee-eff-eff!"</p>
<p>Weiss indignantly tossed her head at the words, and refocused on JNPR. "Next touchdown wins, you know."</p>
<p>"Then you should be careful," warned Pyrrha. "We have the ball next."</p>
<p>"True," Weiss allowed and turned away. She added, in an undertone to where Pyrrha couldn't hear, "I think Yang knows that, too."</p>
<p>Yang was walking back towards her team, grinning roguishly, devil-may-care written in her every step. Team JNPR was huddled up and missed this fact. "We may only get one shot at this," Pyrrha said. "What's our best play, Jaune?"</p>
<p>"It's too far for Pomegrenade," said Jaune. "We could do our power running play. Ren and I line up next to Nora and we just go right at them. Clear a path for you. That's scored us two touchdowns already."</p>
<p>"Right," said Nora, and the teammates trotted up to the ball. Yang took her stance opposite Nora. Weiss and Ruby joined her, but they gave her a healthy distance. Nora had just enough time to wonder about this when she met Yang's eyes.</p>
<p>Which had turned red.</p>
<p>"Hike!" said Pyrrha.</p>
<p>Nora obeyed reflexively, missing the chance to bark out a warning. As soon as the ball was in motion, Yang erupted. She activated her semblance, with an entire game's worth of pounding (and some of lightning-Nora's best licks) powering it. Launching forwards, Yang gave a swipe with her left hand that cleared out Nora and Ren. Then she grabbed hold of Jaune by his arm, pulled him effortlessly along like a rag doll, and flung him into Pyrrha.</p>
<p>The ball squirted up out of Pyrrha's hands, completely up for grabs.</p>
<p>A blur of red snagged it out of midair.</p>
<p>Sun promptly lost his mind screaming his enthusiasm. Ruby was able to run into the end zone sans-semblance, hooting up a storm.</p>
<p>Aura still flaring violently, Yang surveyed the crumpled forms of Team JNPR. "Next time you come at me that hard," she said, "win the game before I get my shot, or I'll wipe you out single-handedly."</p>
<p>"We'll remember that," croaked Jaune.</p>
<p>"Ow," said Ren.</p>
<hr/>
<p>
  <em>Team RWBY wins. RWBY leads, 2-0.</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>Next time: Chess.</em>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0003"><h2>3. Chess</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>"Chess?"</p><p>"Chess," said Jaune confidently. "That's the next sport."</p><p>RWBY and NPR collectively looked at Jaune.</p><p>"What?" he said. "Team RWBY picked the first two sports, which means it's definitely our turn. As team leader, I choose chess."</p><p>It was Blake who first asked the question all of them were thinking. "Is… chess a sport, though?"</p><p>"It totally is," said Jaune confidently. "The sport of kings, they call it!"</p><p>"I thought that was horse racing."</p><p>Jaune twitched uncertainly. "Well, maybe, except that chess has kings in it, so obviously it's the <em>true</em> sport of kings."</p><p>"The <em>game</em> of kings, maybe," said Blake.</p><p>"Oh, come on, I thought you'd be all for it," said Jaune. "It's a lot more sedate than some of these other things we've been playing."</p><p>"That's true," Blake allowed.</p><p>"You say 'sedate' like it's a good thing," said Yang with scorn. "If it doesn't get my blood pumping, what's the point?"</p><p>"We play chess," Ruby pointed out to her sister.</p><p>"Well… yeah…" said Yang, discomfited. "But… we play <em>games</em> of chess. We don't play the <em>sport</em> of chess."</p><p>"Can you define the difference between a game and a sport?" Jaune said as a challenge, crossing his arms.</p><p>"Duh, a sport is anything where you give your opponent a <em>sport</em>ing chance!"</p><p>A tumbleweed blew by.</p><p>"And sports require you to move," Yang added.</p><p>"Oh, then 'e-sports' is an oxymoron, is it?" said Jaune.</p><p>Yang's mouth was open to talk, but Ruby shouted at her first. "If you dare say or imply that Nega-Inverse Ninja Jutsu Apocalypse 2 is not a sport, we're not family anymore!"</p><p>Yang sighed, defeated in a single attack. "Okay, fine. E-sports are sports."</p><p>"And if e-sports are sports, then chess can be a sport," Jaune said triumphantly.</p><p>Nora moaned aloud. "I don't know how it can be a sport if there's so much waiting."</p><p>Jaune turned on her. "Hey, whose side are you on?"</p><p>"I'm just saying, chess does not work at my speed!" said Nora.</p><p>"But baseball is a sport?" Jaune prompted.</p><p>"Sure it is," said Nora eagerly. "Any activity where you crush something with a blunt object is a sport in my book!"</p><p>"There's tons of waiting in baseball," Jaune said.</p><p>"Not like in chess, though!" Nora protested.</p><p>"That just means you haven't been paying attention," said Jaune smugly. "Thirty years ago, the legendary pitcher 'Sly' Young stopped play for a conference on the pitcher's mound that lasted twenty-three minutes. He wouldn't let the conference break up until he'd gotten a sandwich delivered, and then he ate the sandwich… very slowly… making everyone watch him. He even washed his hands with wet wipes, right there on the mound! Then he struck out the batter on three pitches. The other team's batting coach quit on the spot. What a god."</p><p>He pointed at Nora. "So don't tell me chess is too slow-paced. It's all part of the psychology of the thing."</p><p>Pyrrha put a nervous hand to her mouth. "Um… Jaune… is this the sort of thing you were learning before Beacon instead of how to use aura?"</p><p>"That's not the point!" blurted Jaune, flushing crimson. "The point is that chess is a sport, and if chess is a sport, it meets the terms of Team RWBY's challenge. I say we play chess next."</p><p>"Laaaaaaaaaaaaaaa…" Nora began.</p><p>Jaune looked over his shoulder at Ren. "Ren, back me up, huh?"</p><p>"…aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa…"</p><p>Ren evaluated his team leader, Nora ("…aaaaaaaaaaaa…"), and Team RWBY. He did a quick calculation of how perilous it would be to pick a side… and noped out. "I have nothing to add to this conversation," he said.</p><p>"Good backup," sighed Jaune.</p><p>"…aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaame," finished Nora.</p><p>"I think it's a great idea," said Pyrrha valiantly.</p><p>That brightened Jaune up immediately. "Thanks, Pyrrha! I knew someone would take my side! See, Team RWBY? It's a sport, and it's my team's choice."</p><p>"There… um…" Pyrrha was poking her fingers together again. "There aren't a lot of… <em>rules</em> to chess, are there? It's a quick game to pick up?"</p><p>Jaune's jaw dropped in disbelief.</p><p>"You know what?" said Ruby with a predator's grin. "Team RWBY accepts. Chess it is."</p><p>"Good," said Jaune, trying to rally. "Great. Um… I think the way we do this is…"</p><p>"…round robin and whichever team gets the most checkmates wins?" said Ruby, pressing her advantage.</p><p>"That'd require each player to do four games, and sixteen altogether," Jaune pointed out. "Do you want to try and hold Nora's attention for sixteen games?"</p><p>"Good point," said Ruby.</p><p>"I say we do it single elimination style," said Jaune. "Each of us against one of you, winners keep playing, and when one team is completely out the other wins."</p><p>"That works, I guess," said Ruby.</p><p>"Great! Then we'll meet you in the library tonight after dinner."</p><hr/><p>Finding four complete chess sets turned out to be harder than expected, as most of the school's sets were inexplicably missing pieces, but they managed it.</p><p>"Luck of the draw for the pairings," said Jaune, holding up a fistful of straws. "The bottom of each straw has a color. Match the colors to find your opponents."</p><p>Ruby crossed her arms in annoyance. "And you used Team RWBY's colors for it, right?"</p><p>"Why would I?" said Jaune, playing innocent.</p><p>Ruby growled and picked a straw. Green. "So this is Ren?"</p><p>"Yep," said Jaune.</p><p>"I got white," said Yang. "That's not Weiss, is it?"</p><p>"It's me," said Jaune. "Weiss?"</p><p>"Yellow," said Weiss, holding up her straw. "That has to be Pyrrha."</p><p>"That leaves Blake against Nora," Jaune concluded.</p><p>"Greaaaaaaaaaat," said Nora.</p><p>"You could have made that at least eight more syllables," Blake said to her. "I think you underachieved there."</p><p>At last Nora perked up. "Is that a challenge?"</p><p>"Focus, Nora," said Ren.</p><p>"Fine. But I don't have to like it."</p><p>"No," Weiss chided Pyrrha, "queen goes on her own color."</p><p>"Right," said Pyrrha, whose fingers—so nimble and deft when twirling a spear or feathering a trigger—fumbled the small plastic chess piece. "I'm sorry."</p><p>"Another game you never played before?" Weiss said keenly.</p><p>Pyrrha cringed. "Yes. You could tell?"</p><p>"Neither of us dribbled much during the basketball game," Weiss said with a shrug. "We're athletic, but that's a specific skill we don't have. It showed."</p><p>"I see," said Pyrrha, crestfallen.</p><p>"It's no big deal," said Weiss more lightly. "I have nothing to prove on the basketball court, anyway."</p><p>"I don't like losing," Pyrrha mumbled. "I'm not used to it."</p><p>"That's probably why you never lose on the battlefield," Weiss said. "That's a fair trade, don't you think?"</p><p>"A trade?" said Pyrrha, startled by the idea.</p><p>"To be great at one thing in exchange for losing at other things… oh, come on!" Nora had leapt out of her seat and onto the table, spilling chess pieces onto the floor near Weiss. As Weiss paused to give Nora a piece of her mind, Pyrrha looked at Jaune with naked desperation, but he was distracted by the start of his game with Yang.</p><p>"It was just a thought," said Weiss, as she returned her attention to Pyrrha. "I intend to be good at everything. Well, everything I care about, at least. Are you ready?"</p><p>"I… guess," Pyrrha said, and she reached onto the board.</p><p>"No, white moves first," Weiss corrected, gesturing to her pieces. "You really haven't played before, I see. In that case, I'll show mercy."</p><p>"Thanks?" said Pyrrha.</p><p>Mercy, from Weiss' point of view, meant not playing with her food. She'd make things as quick and painless as possible.</p><p>She set the over/under at ten moves.</p><p>The action was substantially less fierce down the table.</p><p>"What I want to know is, why is the Knight so slow?" demanded Nora. "He's on horseback, shouldn't that make him faster? And then there's these castles, and they can just fly across the board. How does that work?"</p><p>"Yeah, and why is the King the boss if the Queen is the most powerful piece?" Blake said, and even she didn't know if this was a genuine grievance or if she was just egging Nora on.</p><p>"That's what <em>I've</em> been saying, he-<em>llo</em>?!"</p><p>At the next table, Ruby gave an uncomprehending look at Ren's latest move. "But why?"</p><p>"Chess is all about playing the long game," said Ren with characteristic calm.</p><p>The words were enough to give Ruby pause. The move was, on its face, a blunder. Ruby felt like she should pounce on it immediately… and yet. He knew it was a blunder, didn't he? He had to know. What was his 'long game'? What was there to it that he wasn't revealing, and that she wasn't seeing?</p><p>She looked up at him, the very picture of tranquility, and felt that he was surely up to something.</p><p>She was giving him far too much credit. Ren was a novice at chess. But he looked the part, and talked the part, and he'd learned long ago that a serene voice and patient demeanor made even the crudest cattle droppings come across as profound.</p><p>There was no long game. He didn't know he'd made a mistake. But he didn't pay for the mistake either, because Ruby, alarmed and off-put, made a conservative move that let him off the hook.</p><p>Weiss gave Pyrrha a taut smile. Nine moves. She'd beaten her projections.</p><p>"Check."</p><p>Her head whipped to the last table, where Jaune and Yang were facing off. "What? How?" said Yang in alarm.</p><p>Jaune pointed. "You rushed into the attack and left an opening. Check."</p><p>"Uh…" Yang wasn't built to play defensively. She made a clumsy move that stopped the danger but compromised her position.</p><p>"Check," said Jaune again, a knight deftly sliding into position to threaten king and rook at once.</p><p><em>A classic fork,</em> Weiss noted. <em>Is that on purpose, or was that beginner's luck?</em></p><p>"Uh… my king activates his semblance and takes the knight," said Yang.</p><p>"Ha, ha," said Jaune indulgently. But then Yang moved her piece and picked up the knight. "What? That's not how this works!"</p><p>"Of course it is," said Yang. "It's one of the rules of chess that your pieces can use your semblance once a game."</p><p>"No it's not," Jaune protested.</p><p>"Are you calling me a liar?" said Yang, rising from her seat.</p><p>"Calm down, Yang, Glynda will kill us if she has to repair the library…"</p><p>"Don't tell me to calm down!" said Yang, eyes changing color.</p><p>"Yang," said Weiss coldly, "there are no semblances in chess. I want to win too, but if we don't play by the rules, we're just savages."</p><p>"What do you mean, there are no semblances in chess?" said Yang, and her temper (which she wouldn't unleash on a teammate) gave way to genuine confusion. "That's one of the rules."</p><p>"No, it isn't," said Weiss. "Jaune is right."</p><p>"You mean neither of you play with semblances in chess?" said Yang, apparently unable to grapple with the idea.</p><p>"That's not a thing," Weiss said.</p><p>Yang looked lost. "Ruby!" she called.</p><p>"Yeah, sis?"</p><p>"These jokers are saying there aren't semblances in chess!"</p><p>"That's… because… there actually aren't," said Ruby, although (unfairly) she was managing to make a confession of guilt look absolutely adorable. "I invented that rule as a handicap to help you out. It was just a house rule for us playing against each other."</p><p>Yang's jaw dropped. "My baby sister has been coddling me. My whole life is a lie."</p><p>Jaune smoothly replaced the pieces Yang had illegally moved. "You're still in check, by the way."</p><p>It was clear that Yang had based at least part of her defensive strategy on the idea that she had her semblance to bail her out. Without it, she was disarmed, and her board position fell to pieces. Weiss watched as Jaune's counter-attack started to carve her up. Although, Weiss noted, he was taking a less elegant, less direct approach than he needed to. If he'd moved <em>there</em> instead, he could have pressed his advantage…</p><p>Either way, the outcome of that game was a certainty, so she looked over to Ruby's game. Incredibly, though Ren was down to just his king, he had an unusually smug expression on his face, while Ruby's was exasperated. "What happened here?" Weiss asked.</p><p>"I was closing in for the kill," said Ruby, and her voice was flat and exasperated both. "He threw his last piece in front of me in a way that didn't do anything, but I panicked and took it, and then he didn't have any legal moves left."</p><p>Weiss blinked. "So it's a stalemate?"</p><p>Ren gave the subtlest bit of preening. "I consider it a moral victory."</p><p>Weiss peered at the final table. Nora was building some sort of diorama using the chess pieces; Blake's nose was in a book. That looked like a much less formal stalemate. That left…</p><p>"Checkmate."</p><p>Weiss and Blake surged from their seats; their weapons were in their hands and halfway-drawn—</p><p>"Down, girls!" said Yang, waving the two down. "He just beat me, no one's calling for a combo attack right now."</p><p>The two embarrassedly holstered their weapons, then shot glares at Ruby, who scrunched up her eyes. "I know, I know, I need a new name for that one, I'm working on it!"</p><p>"So I win," said Jaune. "Who else won?"</p><p>"I did," said Weiss. In the background, Pyrrha managed an "I'm sorry!"</p><p>"Anyone else?" said Jaune, confused.</p><p>"The other two games were…" Weiss glanced at Nora. "…inconclusive. So it's you and me in the finals, then."</p><p>"Great!" said Jaune, resetting his board. "Let's go. I'll take black."</p><p>Weiss raised an eyebrow. "Just like that?"</p><p>"The black pieces are already on this side," he said, self-assuredly moving the pieces. "Plus, I played white against Yang. It's fine."</p><p>Weiss hesitated. It was a gift—white was known to be the superior choice, even if the margin was slim. Was he really going to surrender that advantage?</p><p>And was she really going to look a gift horse in the mouth?</p><p>"Suit yourself," she said, and arranged her own pieces.</p><p>"It's in the bag," Yang whispered to Ruby. "He can barely look at Weiss. How's he going to beat her?"</p><p>Ruby frowned. "I don't think I agree," she said, as the two began to play.</p><p>"Why not?"</p><p>"This isn't basketball," said Ruby. "And it's not football. You have to look at your opponent in those sports. But in chess, you only have to look at the board."</p><p>Yang looked back at Jaune and realized that Ruby was right. Jaune's hands were folded in front of his mouth, and his face was looking unblinkingly at the pieces. He didn't even spare a glance for Weiss herself.</p><p>"Uh oh," said Yang. "You remember that time we played Four Kingdoms and we let Jaune play?"</p><p>"I do now," said Ruby, wincing.</p><p>They hadn't expected it when he'd crashed their game, but he'd taught them a painful lesson. Whether due to a lifetime of being roped into games by his older sisters, or due to the latent tactical talent that had gotten him appointed team leader in the first place, one thing was true: Jaune Arc was really good at board games.</p><p>He'd chosen black not out of ignorance, but out of comfort. Years of not having a choice had molded a defensive style unique to him—one which had, eventually, caused his sisters to give up chess altogether.</p><p>It took Weiss some time to realize this. As white, she began by moving into strong offensive positions, and Jaune let her have them, playing with a certain passivity. It was only when she tried to carry the attack into his lines that she realized how solid his defense was. His pieces were intricately interlinked, offering her no openings except ones he could easily close. She sent a bishop deep inside his side of the board; a deft pawn move trapped it, leaving it no way to escape. He didn't even do her the dignity of taking the piece, opting merely to neutralize it and reinforce his positions elsewhere.</p><p>Startled, Weiss saw that she'd been had. She'd approached him with confidence, believing herself better based on how inelegantly he'd finished off Yang. It had been, she now saw, a ploy. He'd deliberately underplayed his own skill. It had worked beautifully.</p><p>Weiss was weakening. She was falling into the same trap Yang had, albeit much more slowly: so spread out and scattered trying to break through his shell that she'd compromised her defense and created an opening for counterattack.</p><p>He played methodically, never surrendering a piece without exacting a price for it, never leaving a piece hanging unsupported, never allowing her any position of consequence. When he finally started assembling a rook battery to drive his advantage home, she could see it coming well in advance and do absolutely nothing about it.</p><p>"Check," he said as his lead rook swept into her back rank.</p><p>Weiss pursed her lips. Her mind played out her possible moves. None appealed. None did more than delay. Even swapping pieces—trading her rook for his—would only dig the hole deeper.</p><p>"Mate in three?" she asked.</p><p>"Four, if you play optimally," he answered.</p><p>She looked up at him, but he was resolutely staring at the board. A glance down at it—well, maybe he was right, maybe she could stretch it out to four turns, but what was the point? She'd lost.</p><p>Grouchily, she toppled her king in surrender and folded her arms with a huff.</p><p>At last he relaxed, smiled, and looked up at her. "Good game," he said sportingly. "I'm glad we could… do… this?"</p><p>His good cheer died at the look on her face. "Jaune Arc," she declared, "do not think I accept this defeat gracefully. We are now chess enemies. I swear I will have my revenge one day, so prepare yourself for my wrath."</p><p>Tossing her head (setting her long hair swinging), she stood and marched away.</p><p>"Welllllll, that was fun," said Ruby with questionable sincerity. "We'll meet up with you tomorrow at breakfast to plan the next super-fun sports activity, okay?"</p><p>Jaune sighed. "Yeah, sure. Whatever."</p><p>"See you then. Blake, Yang, hands where I can see them…"</p><p>"What?"</p><p>Jaune was still looking at the place where Weiss had been. "I won, but it feels like I lost," he said.</p><p>"Well," said Pyrrha hesitantly, "at least this means… you'll play her again one day. You'll get to see her then, right?"</p><p>Her earnestness didn't seem to register with Jaune. "If it goes like this, though, I don't know if I can take it. Sheesh, even the things I'm good at don't do me any good."</p><p>"<em>I</em> was very impressed," Pyrrha said. "The way you moved the… castles…"</p><p>"Rooks," Jaune corrected disconsolately, and he stood. "Thanks for trying to cheer me up, Pyrrha. You're a good friend."</p><p>"A good… friend," said Pyrrha, staring at the ground as he walked away. "Thanks. That… means a lot to me."</p><p>Ren shook his head. "Sometimes people don't see the things right in front of them."</p><p>Nora made a face at his back. "Yeah, it's super-frustrating!" she snarled. "I can't <em>stand</em> it when people are oblivious to the affections of others!"</p><p>"Well," he said brightly, "I suppose we should clean up then."</p><p>Nora, who had just finished arranging the chess pieces to spell out "Ren + Nora", gave a heaving sigh. "Sure thing. Cleaning up is my faaaaaaaa…"</p><p>"You already did that joke twice."</p><p>"…vorite."</p><hr/><p>
  <em>Team JNPR wins (but did they really?). RWBY leads, 2-1.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Next time: alcohol.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Whoops, I mean…</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Next time: arson.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Dammit, Yang. What I meant was…</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Next time: darts.</em>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0004"><h2>4. Darts</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>"This smell is going to soak into my clothes, isn't it?" said Wiess, lips pursing.</p><p>"That's why I wear cheap clothes to bars," said Yang.</p><p>It was such an easy setup Weiss couldn't be bothered to spike it. Instead she said, "What even is this smell?"</p><p>Yang raised her nose and sniffed, as if savoring the stench that had Weiss cringing, Ruby gagging, and Blake trying to rig a mask out of napkins. "I'd say three parts alcohol, two parts tobacco, two parts body odor, and ten parts air to give the rest a place to live."</p><p>Weiss was sure she could make out other smells, less savory than even the ones Yang had mentioned, but she was too embarrassed to mention them. Instead, she griped, "I'm still not clear on why we're down here."</p><p>"They don't have enough dart boards back up at Beacon, for one thing," said Yang. "Bars in Vale always do. The more important reason, though… you'll know soon enough." Yang's grin had turned incorrigible. It spelled "trouble" in most of Remnant's languages and "run away" in the rest.</p><p>"Hey, there's JNPR!" said Ruby, waving her hand over her head. "Come on, JNPR, over here!"</p><p>The members of Team JNPR weaved their way through the bar towards the tables Team RWBY had claimed. The combination of dull, yellowish lighting and the permanent haze caused them to squint as they approached. The chairs and tables were tightly spaced; the proprietor clearly wanted to squeeze in as many people as possible and was willing to pay off the fire marshal to swallow his objections. It opened up slightly towards the dart boards, a grudging concession to the needs of that game. Many of the tables were unoccupied, as it was still early in the evening, but that just meant the teens could get a clearer look at their surroundings. The furniture, floors, walls, and bar all looked very cheap, many were missing pieces or had chunks out, and all showed signs of extreme use.</p><p>"You have… colorful taste," Pyrrha said, as charitably as she could.</p><p>Jaune reached to one of the tables and ran his finger across it. It created a visible gap in the dusty-sticky substance covering the table's surface. "I don't think I've ever been anywhere this filthy," he said.</p><p>"We have!" said Nora. Ren just shuddered.</p><p>"You mean it's got character," Yang said.</p><p>"If it had any more 'character' it'd be arrested," muttered Blake. "How do you find these places?"</p><p>"Oh… you know," Yang replied vaguely. "I can instantly detect places with cheap drinks and good insurance."</p><p>Ruby gave Yang a martial artist's salute. "The Qrow has trained you well," she intoned.</p><p>Yang smirked. "That's not the point, though. The point is that this is the perfect place for us to get our darts on!"</p><p>She started handing out sets of darts that were just as tattered and worn as the rest of the bar. When she got to Ruby, the reaper folded her arms and huffed. "You promised, Yang!"</p><p>"Oh, fine, sure," said Yang, waving Ruby away. "You can go get your first."</p><p>"Yay!" said Ruby, zooming off.</p><p>"What's she getting?" Weiss said nervously.</p><p>"A Shirley Shrine."</p><p>"You're letting your little sister drink?" said Pyrrha, taken aback.</p><p>"Nah," said Yang, "I'm responsibly irresponsible. There's no alcohol in a Shirley Shrine, it just looks like it. It's soda with added cherry syrup, and a candied cherry on top."</p><p>Blake's mouth puckered from the description alone. "That does sound like Ruby's sort of drink."</p><p>"Wait," said Weiss, her nervousness not abating. "You're letting her have caffeine <em>and</em> sugar? At the same time?"</p><p>"You put sugar in her coffee," Yang pointed out.</p><p>"In her <em>one cup</em> of coffee," Weiss replied. "Any more than that and…"</p><p>Ruby returned, plunking down a full pint glass with contents so pink they seemed to glow. "Awesome start to the night, sis!"</p><p>Weiss' eyes popped wide. Which she regretted, because the atmosphere made them sting and water.</p><p>"Now that we're ready to start, we'll go with the simplest set of rules," said Yang. "You have three throws to get as many points as you can. Hit the very middle for fifty, hit the green area around for twenty-five. Anywhere else and you use the number written around the edge, except that the middle ring triples the number and the outer ring doubles it."</p><p>Pyrrha, always objective-oriented and quick on the uptake, nodded seriously. "So we actually get the most points aiming for that triple twenty spot, not the bullseye," she said.</p><p>"You catch on quick," said Yang. "But it may get crowded, and it's high risk because the areas around it are low-value."</p><p>The others nodded.</p><p>"Three tosses, tally your points, and we rotate," said Yang. "Just start with whoever on the other team is next to you, and we'll work our way around. Should go pretty fast. We can always move to more complicated rules later."</p><p>"Yaaaaang!" said Ruby wiping off her mouth. "Yang Yang Yaaang!"</p><p>"What, sis?"</p><p>"My bullseye is all torn up!" She pointed at the dartboard closest to her. Sure enough, it was so pockmarked and worn from repeated impacts that the border between inner and outer bullseye was gone.</p><p>"Meh, it affects both of you, so it's fine," said Yang. "Let's get started. Oh, and no semblances."</p><p>Weiss, hand raised as if to start drawing glyphs then and there, pouted. "Oh, <em>now</em> we're banning semblances?"</p><p>"Only two of us have semblances that are any use in this sport," said Yang. "We don't need this to be the Weiss-and-Pyrrha Show. Besides, the two of you don't need the help, you're both deadeyes anyway."</p><p>The flattery worked. "Well, thank you for acknowledging the obvious," said Weiss, but in more pleasant tones than her norm. Pyrrha, who'd had plans in mind for using her semblance for defense, took the news more stoically.</p><p>But Yang had, if anything, been understating the case. All her classmates were aspiring Huntsmen and Huntresses. All of them—except Jaune—were used to making ranged attacks on small targets, and all of them—even Jaune—boasted superb hand-eye coordination.</p><p>At the end of the round, three of the contestants had achieved the "perfect" score of 180, and even Jaune had managed 125.</p><p><em>Time for Phase Two</em>, Yang thought with a grin.</p><p>"Clearly this is all too easy for us," Yang said. "I think we need a handicap."</p><p>"What kind of handicap?" said Nora eagerly. "Throw from one foot? Throw with your off-hand? Blindfolds?"</p><p>Yang slapped a drinks menu down on the table, where it stuck. "Booze," she said.</p><p>Ruby took another enormous gulp of her Shirley Shrine. Pyrrha and Jaune both eyed the menu like it was a viper that might whirl on them at any moment. Weiss slumped forward, as if she'd been hoping that it wouldn't come to this even though she'd known it would. Blake, though, sidled forward to get a better look at the menu. "That's not a bad idea," she said.</p><p>Yang looked mildly impressed. "You know your way around a bar, Blake?"</p><p>"The White Fang considered drinking age limits to be just another form of human oppression," she said with a shrug. "I'll take a rum-and-cola."</p><p>"It's even your color!" said Yang approvingly. "Gotcha. What about the rest of you?"</p><p>"You are not getting my partner drunk," Weiss said, glancing at Ruby, who was tilting her glass to ever-more-severe angles.</p><p>"Nah, she's good with Shirley Shrines. Trust me, when it comes to impairing our performance, it'll do as well for her as the alcohol will do for us." Yang looked at the others. "Which means we all need to do our part."</p><p>"Wait, is this even legal?" wondered Jaune nervously.</p><p>"For Huntsmen and Huntresses it is," Yang replied.</p><p>"We're… not licensed, though," he said, confused.</p><p>"We've killed more grimm than plenty of graduates," Yang said. "But don't worry, I'll do the buying."</p><p>Jaune looked for a moment like he would wonder aloud why that should make a difference. Then he opted to keep his plausible deniability. Ren stepped forward. "Nora will have a virgin daquiri," he said.</p><p>"You know me!" said Nora exuberantly, smacking a hand on a table and causing it to buckle.</p><p>"Probably for the best," Yang conceded.</p><p>"I'll have the Vacuo Coast," he went on, pointing down the menu to a dark wine.</p><p>"You've got taste," Yang said approvingly. "You two have gotten into more shenanigans than you've shared with us, haven't you?"</p><p>Ren gave his most neutral look. Nora flexed and cackled.</p><p>"I'll take that as a yes," Yang said. "Maybe another time you can tell us… or maybe after another round of drinks. Well, what about you two?"</p><p>Jaune and Pyrrha flinched under the attention.</p><p>"I think we've found our virgins!" Yang roared. "Don't worry, Yang Xiao Long is here to make it all go down as smooth as possible… but first, I need answers. Jaune, I can guess why you've never had booze. With seven older sisters babying you, I bet you've never even smelled the stuff."</p><p>"Once!" he said defensively.</p><p>"Do tell," demanded Yang.</p><p>He put a hand behind his head. "O-one time, when we were cooking back at home, I snuck a taste of some of the cooking wine. I… I immediately spat it out, and then I had to pretend I'd spilled it."</p><p>"What a rebel," Yang said, rolling her eyes. "What about you, Pyrrha? As big as a celebrity as you are, I imagined you'd have as much as you wanted."</p><p>"Not exactly," said Pyrrha, looking away nervously. "I had to eat certain things to keep my sponsorships, and then my trainers put meal plans in place to keep me healthy despite eating for my sponsors, so… before Beacon, it'd been years since I'd chosen what to eat for my own meals."</p><p>"Okay, that got waaaay too yangsty for my taste," said Yang. "You get to choose whatever now! The world is your oyster! Take a look." She tried to rotate the drinks menu so Pyrrha could see it, but it had adhered to the table, so she rotated the table instead.</p><p>It might as well have been Greek to Pyrrha. She recognized that probably everything on the menu was alcohol of some kind, but she had no perspective. It was like trying to tell stars apart—sure, they probably were different up close, but from where she stood they all looked the same.</p><p>Her eyes ran over the list once more, and alighted on an item. That sounded like something she recognized. "Menagerie Iced Tea," she said.</p><p>Blake and Yang both raised eyebrows in synch.</p><p>Pyrrha noticed. "Is that a bad choice? I like iced tea, but I can choose something else if it's a problem…"</p><p>Blake and Yang glanced at each other, considered the opportunity to save Pyrrha from her own naivete… and waved at the opportunity as it sailed by. "Excellent choice," said Yang.</p><p>"They're very flavorful," said Blake truthfully, and she managed a straight face.</p><p>"What about you, Jaune?" said Yang, appraising him. "You seem like a beer guy to me, doesn't he, Blake?"</p><p>"Definitely," Blake agreed.</p><p>"Uh… sure," said Jaune. "I guess I'll have a… a Mountain Light."</p><p>"It's the only beer you've seen ads for, isn't it?" said Yang discerningly.</p><p>Jaune shrank. "That obvious, huh?"</p><p>"Life's too short for light beers," said Yang. "A regular Mountain might not be a bad start, though."</p><p>"You have such gutter taste," said Weiss, rolling her eyes. "You want him to <em>like</em> beer, don't you? Get him something better for his first time."</p><p>"<em>I</em> have gutter taste?" said Yang, rising to the challenge. "What about you, Weissicle? What's your poison? Do you even know?"</p><p>"Of course I do," she lied. In truth, all her knowledge of alcohol was second-hand, picked up by osmosis during the innumerable and interminable dinner parties her father hosted. She knew names and reputations, and nothing else.</p><p>"I'm guessing it's some super-dry white wine," Yang said.</p><p>Weiss shook her head. "No, wine's caused problems in my household… I'll have a gin and tonic."</p><p>Blake put a hand over her mouth to squeeze in her scoff. The idea of gin and tonic being a <em>safer</em> alternative to wine made her want to snort.</p><p>"Alright," said Yang, withholding judgement for the moment. "I'll kick off with a strawberry sunrise, and move on to the harder stuff later… oh, and a Pam Adams for Jaune."</p><p>"And another Shirley Shrine!" called Ruby.</p><p>Yang gave a thumbs-up as she headed for the bar.</p><p>The group descended to silence as the engine of the evening left them. Jaune grabbed a napkin and tried to wipe off their table. The napkin tore.</p><p>"Ah!" said Ruby, polishing off her first Shirley Shrine. "That's the stuff! Hey, I bet I can throw darts while at full semblance speed. Give me four darts, I think I can get four bullseyes in four passes! Wanna see?"</p><p>"Look around," said Weiss. "There's no room for you to hit those speeds in this garbage bin."</p><p>Ruby smiled dangerously. "Challenge accepted."</p><p>"Ruby—"</p><p>"Oh, it looks like Yang's paying, she'll need help with the drinks, be right back!"</p><p>As rose petals fluttered to the ground around them, Weiss peered at Ruby's glass. "This is after <em>one</em> of those infernal things? And she's getting another?"</p><p>"Yang compared its effect on her to alcohol's effect on us," Pyrrha said, nerves visible to all. "Will we all be like that?"</p><p>"Probably not," said Blake. "Alcohol affects different people in different ways."</p><p>"Take Ren for example!" said Nora. "I bet you'll never believe this, but he gets quiet and serious when he's hammered!"</p><p>"Nora, why would you do that to him?" said Pyrrha, shocked.</p><p>"'Hammered' is another word for 'drunk'," Ren explained without expression. "And I have never been that drunk. I have been… pleasantly mellow."</p><p>"I had to carry you home," Nora said, poking his chest.</p><p>"You didn't have to, you chose to, and that was the last time I allowed you to drink something other than daquiris…"</p><p>"Drinks are up!" yelled Yang triumphantly as she and Ruby returned with a tray. "Everyone grab your drink—there we are… alright! I say we kick it off with a toast! To sports!"</p><p>"Sports," they all echoed, with varying sincerity, and glasses went to lips.</p><p>Weiss made gagging noises almost immediately. "Are you kidding?" she said through coughs. "This is bitter and nasty!"</p><p>"Takes one to know one!" crowed Yang. "I thought you knew what you were getting into."</p><p>"I always knew my father's party guests were full of it, but I didn't realize how full of it they were," Weiss said, face curled in disgust. "Anyone who says they enjoy these is utterly untrustworthy."</p><p>"You're stuck with it now, so you'd better get used to it," said Yang.</p><p>"I think she had a point, though," said Blake, looking at Yang's glass. "What is that, again?"</p><p>"Strawberry sunrise," Yang said, taking a drink of it around the cutesy umbrella she'd requested. "I start slow and ramp up. Just like in real life. Next round I'll have a jaeger bomb."</p><p>"You <em>do</em> have gutter taste," said Blake, with one of her rare smiles.</p><p>"Are you judging me?" Yang scoffed, and she leaned in towards Blake to sniff at her drink, causing Blake to flush. "And exactly how much cola is in your rum-and-cola?"</p><p>"Enough to give it the right color," Blake said, and took another sip. She smacked her lips. "<em>Only</em> enough to give it the right color," she amended.</p><p>"So you're saying I ordered it how you like it?" Yang asked with a keen edge to her voice.</p><p>She was entirely too perceptive for Blake, especially given how many other advantages the blonde possessed. It wasn't fair. Yang wasn't fair. Blake declined to answer and took a sip of her drink instead. Yang grinned as if that was enough of an answer for her.</p><p>It was like no iced tea Pyrrha had ever tasted. The flavor had caused her eyes to bolt open, then drift slowly shut. Her first drink of it was unwisely long and deep. When she peeled her mouth off the straw and slowly swallowed, her first exhale was at least forty proof. "Oh," she said. "<em>Oh</em>. That's… something."</p><p>She looked down at it again. She blinked. And blinked again. She felt suddenly light-headed, and warm from the inside. She very nearly giggled. She was completely oblivious to Yang and Blake watching her with amusement.</p><p>"Well, I think I can see why people like this," said Jaune after a cautious sip of his Pam Adams. "I don't see why they make so much fuss about it, but it's not bad."</p><p>"Be glad we didn't start you off with a Monty Light, then," said Yang.</p><p>"Monty?" said Jaune, frowning.</p><p>"It's what you call a Mountain Light after you've had half a dozen of 'em."</p><p>Jaune looked down. "I can't imagine drinking half a dozen of these."</p><p>"Of course not," said Blake, rolling her eyes, "because that's a <em>decent</em> beer, unlike the mildly alcoholic pond water my partner here likes."</p><p>"Only when there's no liquor," Yang replied, taking another drink.</p><p>"Pond water has many useful properties," Ren observed sagely.</p><p>"Nope!" shouted Nora. "I'm stopping you right there! We're drinking <em>nice</em> things tonight!"</p><p>"This is goooood," said Pyrrha at large. She'd taken a second drink scarcely smaller than the first, and this time she did giggle, a sound that caused Ren no small alarm.</p><p>"I think we need to slow you down," he said, reaching out to ease the "iced tea" away from Pyrrha.</p><p>Her hand whipped around with her full speed and strength and very nearly her full dexterity. "Mine," she growled, squeezing Ren's arm. Her eyes very clearly communicated that, inebriated or not, she was still <em>Pyrrha frickledy-fracking Nikos,</em> and she could crush his wrist to powder if he gave her cause.</p><p>"Of course," said Ren, non-confrontationally, "but you need to let it go if you're playing in the next round of darts."</p><p>Her temper deflated. "Oh, we're doing that now?" she said, with only a little slurring.</p><p>"Any moment now," said Ren. "Right, Yang?"</p><p>"Sure," said Yang, finishing off her sunrise. "Who else is ready?"</p><p>"I AM!" shouted Ruby, who'd somehow plowed through half of her second Shirley Shrine. "I am I am I am I am!"</p><p>Jaune, frightened, looked down at his beer. "Do I have to finish this before the next round?"</p><p>"Nah, you put a dent in it," said Yang. "Take another slug of it and I think we're good."</p><p>Pyrrha was still looking longingly at her Menagerie Iced Tea and licking her lips, but she consented to standing. "Sounds good," she said with a hint of giggle. "This'll be fun!"</p><p>"Anything to get away from this abomination," said Weiss, holding her gin and tonic at full arm's length.</p><p>"Choke it down and I'll help you get something better for next round," Yang advised.</p><p>"This is a bad idea," Weiss said, but she finished the drink all the same. Yang winked at Blake, who gave the smallest of head-shakes. Even that gesture of disapproval was more than cancelled by the faunus' amused smirk.</p><p>"I bet I'm drunker than any of you!" declared Nora. "Who says I'm not?!"</p><p>"Your drink didn't have alcohol," said Blake, but luckily Nora didn't hear, and Ren very pointedly put a finger over his lips to swear Blake to silence.</p><p><em>So far, so good</em>, thought Yang with satisfaction. <em>Time for Phase Three.</em></p><hr/><p>From there, things escalated.</p><hr/><p>Even from a block down the street, the heat from the fires was significant. The smoke was soaring high in the air, lighting up the night. The flames had reached the roof of the bar, now; it was sure to be a total loss.</p><p>"How does this keep happening?" Blake said, distressed.</p><p>"Awesome, that's how," said Yang triumphantly. "Unbridled awesome."</p><p>"Was this the plan all along?" Weiss said, shaken and trying to keep it together.</p><p>"Ask me no questions and I'll tell you no lies," said Yang liltingly as the light of the fire reflected in her eyes.</p><p>"It's not like the place will be missed," said Weiss, in the tones of someone trying to drunk-rationalize as hard as they can. "I think the world is better off without it, frankly, and certainly more sanitary… but we will be banned from going to Vale if this keeps up."</p><p>"We didn't even have our weapons," said Blake with a shake of her head.</p><p>"How many times is this, now?" asked Weiss.</p><p>Yang shrugged. "After you pop your bar-burns-down cherry you don't really track 'em, you know?"</p><p>"Whooooo-hoooooo!" screamed Ruby. She was rocketing back and forth across the street at her maximum non-semblance speed. She had been for several minutes.</p><p>From nearby they could hear the sounds of retching, alternating with mutters of "I'm sorry" in Pyrrha's voice.</p><p>Ren had absconded with his first glass of wine, and he gave it a sip, taking it down to the halfway mark. Nora was cackling at the fire and periodically saying "Girls' night!" for some reason.</p><p>Part of the bar's roof collapsed. With a new, fresh source of oxygen, the flames leapt higher.</p><p>"So!" said Yang, clapping her hands. "Who wants to move on to the next bar and finish our darts?"</p><p>"No!" shouted Jaune, staggering towards RWBY, Pyrrha at his side. "We're done for the night. This has gone too… too…"</p><p>He looked briefly green, ran for the side of the street, and puked into the rain gutter.</p><p>"The glorious return of Vomit Boy," said Weiss drily.</p><p>"I shouldn't have shared my iced tea," Pyrrha said with regret.</p><hr/><p>
  <em>Draw. RWBY leads, 2-1.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Next time: Hockey.</em>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0005"><h2>5. Hockey</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Ren very nearly frowned. "How did we get talked into hockey?"</p><p>"What do you mean?" said Jaune, though with the way his eyes darted about it was clear he knew exactly what Ren meant.</p><p>"It wasn't something any of us wanted," Ren went on, "and it should have been our turn to pick the sport. So whose idea was it?"</p><p>"Weiss'," admitted Jaune. Behind him, Pyrrha jerked as if stabbed.</p><p>"Weiss'," Ren repeated. (Stab.)</p><p>"Yeah," said Jaune, and he had the dignity to look embarrassed. "I mean, I wanted it to be our turn to pick the sport, but she insisted that it was what she really wanted and she'd been patient all this time waiting for it and, well, I couldn't say no to her." (Stab, stab.)</p><p>"Pyrrha," said Nora, concerned, "you alright?"</p><p>"I'm… fine," lied Pyrrha in a voice only Jaune was naïve enough to believe.</p><p>"So!" said Jaune as he finished lacing up his skates. "Here we are. I'll go out first. Join me when you're ready."</p><p>Jaune walked unsteadily over to the waist-high door blocking access to the ice. In a moment he was out and his skates bit. He stumbled for a few strides, but then muscle memory started to take over. He leaned into a turn as he approached the end—ah, that felt good.</p><p>The roller skating incident had been embarrassing, but roller skating and ice skating were just different enough that they didn't translate, and Sun's showboating had been no help at all. Ice skating he remembered well enough, even if it had been a few years, and now it was a fascinating feeling of being both new and old. He smiled. This might actually be fun!</p><p>He swept by the area where Team RWBY was trying to get organized. None of them seemed in any hurry to get on the ice. That lifted his spirits.</p><p>Then he returned to his team's bench, and his spirits sank right back down again. All three of his teammates were standing behind the gate and looking at the ice with apprehension. A nagging thought, which Jaune had been able to ignore to this point, burst into his head.</p><p>"You all have ice-skated before, right?"</p><p>Pyrrha poked her fingers together. "It… can't be too hard to learn, can it?"</p><p>"Unless you're going through the mountains, southern Anima has a much warmer climate than Vale," Ren pointed out. "There were no frozen lakes or ponds we ever saw. Nora and I have only ever been to a skating rink once before." Nora's eyes popped open, as if she knew what was coming, then she turned to the side huffily.</p><p>"Well," said Jaune, struggling to find a silver lining, "once is more than never, am I right?"</p><p>"It was only for ten minutes," Ren continued as Nora fumed. "Because <em>someone</em> got us kicked out and permanently banned."</p><p>"Look," Nora exploded, "if they didn't want me to stab people, why did they give me knives for my feet? What did they think would happen?!"</p><p>Jaune blinked and looked down at Nora's skates. "You think those are kni… you know what, never mind. Let's just get out there, okay?"</p><p>Team RWBY was doing little better. "I'll go out there," Blake said flatly, "when I'm in Hell, and Hell itself has frozen over."</p><p>"It's just ice, what's so bad about that?" said Ruby.</p><p>"There's no ice in Menagerie," said Blake. "<em>Ever</em>. Or in half the other places I've been, but definitely not in Menagerie. I have never been skating before. I'm not about to start now."</p><p>"C'mon, Blake!" said Yang gamely. "What's more fun than falling down a lot and then using that energy to punch your way across a slick surface, eh?"</p><p>Blake cringed. "No part of that made any sense at all."</p><p>"Fun usually doesn't," said Yang.</p><p>"Come on, team, we need a better spirit than this!" said Ruby, hobbling towards the door. "This is going to be fun, this is going to be awesome, this is going to be…"</p><p>She stepped onto the ice and immediately began falling down, though it took her over five seconds to complete the act.</p><p>Blake's lip curled. "'Fun', huh?"</p><p>"As I was saying," Ruby said, coming to her feet again with the aid of the wall, "this is going to beeeEEEE!"</p><p>Crash.</p><p>Blake frowned. "I thought you two said you've been skating before."</p><p>"We have," said Yang jauntily. "Doesn't mean we were any good at it. Dad used to joke that the whole reason he taught Ruby how to use aura was so she'd survive ice-skating."</p><p>"WooooAAAAH! Okay, that was a wall, that was definitely a wall…"</p><p>"Are you sure he was joking?" Blake said.</p><p>Yang shrugged. "Meh, about fifty percent sure. By the way, where's Weiss?"</p><p>"Haven't seen her," said Blake, and she shivered intensely even though she wasn't on the ice and was wrapped up in a thermal blanket.</p><p>"I'll be pissed if she misses hockey after it was her big idea to play it," said Yang. "Whatever, I suppose I should get started."</p><p>"Oh, there you are, Yang, catch meeeeeeEEEEE!"</p><p>Crash.</p><p>"You two are making me look smarter every second," said Blake.</p><p>On the other side of the rink, Nora was trying to walk with her skates on.</p><p>"That's not how this works," Jaune said. "It's skating, not walking."</p><p>"If I try to skate, I fall," said Nora. "This ice will let me walk, or I'll <em>make</em> it let me walk."</p><p>"It's a battle of wills, now," said Ren serenely as he glided by, skating along without lifting his legs or showing apparent effort. "Nora versus the ice. Best to let it play out."</p><p>Jaune did a double-take. He put on a little speed and caught up with Ren. "I thought you hadn't skated before!"</p><p>"I haven't," Ren admitted. "This is all I can do. And as fast as I can go."</p><p>Which, Jaune saw, was a bit slower than walking. "That's still pretty good for your first time on the ice."</p><p>They'd come around close to Nora again; she gave a dismissive wave. "Don't let Ren fool you. He's watched tons of those figure-skating shows."</p><p>"Really?"</p><p>Ren looked transported. "Out of the noblest and purest of mankind's endeavors, figure skating is second only to the sacred art of dance."</p><p>Jaune glanced at Nora. "Is he for real?"</p><p>"Just don't get him started on the Lipinsky scandal," said Nora—but in the gleeful tones of an arsonist lighting a match.</p><p>"That match was fixed, she was robbed, and it was a travesty," Ren said, raising a vibrating fist in his fury.</p><p>For her part, Pyrrha had just about identified all the pieces of metal closest to the court. <em>If I pull on this one and keep my feet steady…</em></p><p>If her feet had been set, she'd be pulling the pipe to her. Because she was on skates, the effect was instead to pull her towards the pipe. She eased into motion in that direction. Okay, that was working—and the longer she pulled, the faster she went—but how did she stop?</p><p>The wall loomed ahead. The question was urgent.</p><p>She pushed against the pipe. It creaked ominously, but her speed started to come down. She eased up, not wanting to wreck the place on accident (<em>again</em>, she thought guiltily, remembering the basketball court), and slammed into the wall. Not too hard, didn't even dent her aura.</p><p>So, she could go in straight lines, speed up, and slow down. How was she supposed to turn?</p><p>Resetting herself, she looked to another one of her anchors and started pulling on it, more slowly this time to manage her speed. Glancing to her right, she saw another, and reached out to it with much less power. Sure enough, her course bent into an (ahem) <em>arc</em> as she traversed the ice.</p><p>Pyrrha grinned in savage triumph. She'd figure this out. Jaune "couldn't say no" to someone who could skate? She'd figure a way to skate—her way.</p><p>Ten minutes later, Jaune convened his team. "I'm feeling better and better," he said jauntily. "It's all coming back, you know? I'm ready for this. What about you all?"</p><p>"The ice hasn't surrendered yet, but I'll break its spirit eventually," said Nora, stomping a few times.</p><p>"I think we found our goalie," said Jaune without missing a beat. "Ren?"</p><p>"As long as I don't have to move fast, turn, or use my hands, I'm good."</p><p>"It's nice to know our limitations," said Jaune. "Pyrrha?"</p><p>The Mistrali Champion's face was flush from her efforts—but from excitement, too. "I've got a system going," she said. "I can get almost anywhere, if I can find the right route and the right anchors. And," she said conspiratorially, "I can go backwards. I haven't seen anyone else on the ice who can skate <em>backwards</em>."</p><p>"I haven't seen anyone else on the ice who can skate at all," Ren said pointedly and pointing.</p><p>As JNPR looked up the ice, they saw Ruby and Yang skidding across the ice once more, one face-up, one face-down, so violently their auras were engaging. Only Blake's eyes and ears were visible; the rest of her was tucked safely outside the rink.</p><p>"I think we can out-skate those three," Jaune said confidently. "That just leaves…"</p><p>As if hearing her cue, Weiss arrived.</p><p>From outside the rink she leapt over the wall, legs wide, and kept her momentum as she started to skate. In only a few strides she had enough speed to launch into an almost casual double axel. As soon as she landed she moved into a camel spin, then tightened it up into an upright spin before halting and presenting.</p><p>Whereas the other skaters were using rental skates, she had her own that fitted her feet like skin, with blades shined to a mirror finish. In her hands was a matte-black hockey stick with silvery stripes and the Schnee snowflake at regular intervals. She wasn't in the usual, casual clothes of everyone else on the ice. She had broken out a custom skating outfit she must have been holding in reserve for just such an occasion. The dark leggings were so tight they might have been painted on. The base color of her leotard was dark but it had shiny bits that sparkled like stars so that it looked like the night sky, while ruffles of light blue—</p><p>"We forfeit."</p><p>"What?!" said Weiss sharply.</p><p>"We don't stand a chance," said Jaune with a shrug.</p><p>"Most of us can't even skate," said Ren.</p><p>"If we try to skate against you, we'll just look silly," Jaune went on.</p><p>"You don't know that," protested Weiss. "Give it a shot, come on!"</p><p>Ren pointed at Nora, who seemed to be trying to carve her initials into the ice by stomping on it.</p><p>"Well, okay," Weiss allowed, "not everyone was going to be good at this, sure, but I'm still just one person…"</p><p>"It's ay-okaaaaay," said Ruby from somewhere near Weiss' ankles, sounding more than a little punch-drunk. "We 'ccept your forfeit, Team Jennifer. Jupiter. Ju… Green."</p><p>"Thanks, Ruby!" said Jaune. "Come on, team, I think we're about done here!"</p><p>Nora scowled at the ice. "You may have won this round, but I'll be back," she promised.</p><p>Pyrrha's expression drooped. "Aww," she said, "but I wanted Jaune to see me skate…"</p><p>At the other end of the ice, Weiss pouted. "Hmph! What's the point of being the best if you can't show everyone you're the best?"</p><p>"Are you kidding?" said Blake. "JNPR surrendered just from you getting on the ice. You can't 'show them' any more than that."</p><p>"Let's be honest," said Yang, "you were being a bit of a try-hard."</p><p>"I'm not going to handicap myself for their sake," Weiss said definitively.</p><p>"Okay, but… maybe the outfit was a bit much?"</p><p>Weiss blinked, uncomprehending.</p><p>With JNPR gone, and no one in RWBY speaking or moving, an eerie silence settled over the ice. A tumbleweed blew by.</p><p>"So…" said Weiss, looking at her outfit, "I got all dressed up and everything… who wants to play some two-on-two?"</p><p>"I think we need to humble the Ice Queen a bit more," said Yang. "I hear Nega-Inverse Ninja Jutsu Apocalypse 3 calling our names."</p><p>"I am not playing that garbage," said Weiss.</p><p>"I feel the same way about hockey," Yang said pointedly.</p><p>"Who wants an early lunch?" intervened Ruby.</p><p>Blake's face popped over the wall. "I vote for that. It's fish sandwich day at the cafeteria."</p><p>"It's settled, then!" Ruby enthused. "Come on, team! We'll toast our victory over some deep-fried goodness!"</p><p>As Ruby staggered off the ice—aura significantly depleted—Yang and Weiss both rolled their eyes at her—and there found their unity. They exchanged a smile and silently agreed to the truce.</p><p>Crash.</p><p>"Why do they keep putting walls everywhere?! Everywhere I go there's a wall in my face!"</p><hr/><p>
  <em>Team RWBY wins. RWBY leads 3-1.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Next time: the grand finale… baseball, featuring Team Nefarious!</em>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0006"><h2>6. Baseball</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>To this point this story has been at least vaguely plausible. We're leaving those shores behind. This story was inspired by RWBY Chibi's soccer game with Team Nefarious, and if they're okay with Team RWBY playing soccer against Torchwick and Neo and an actual Beowolf, I am too.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Extensive as Beacon Academy's facilities were, it didn't have a baseball diamond. The city of Vale did, and plenty of them, but there was no covert way for Teams JNPR and RWBY to get to those. They had to travel openly. Which meant…</p><p>"Hi, Sun," sighed Ruby.</p><p>"Woah, I didn't expect to meet you all here!" said Sun unconvincingly. "What a coincidence! What are you up to today?"</p><p>RWBY and JNPR looked at each other and the array of bats, gloves, and balls they were transporting. After several seconds, Weiss said, "Fishing. Obviously."</p><p>"Baseball's pretty cool," said Neptune. "Think we could come with you?"</p><p>Ruby's mouth was open to answer, but Weiss said, "They might as well come. Besides, it might be useful to have a couple of extra bodies around."</p><p>Ruby shot Weiss an annoyed glance. "'Bodies', huh?"</p><p>The lightest dust of a blush came upon Weiss.</p><p>"Might as well," said Blake. She leaned in and whispered to Ruby, "We needed an umpire anyway."</p><p>"You can come," Ruby said in surrender.</p><p>"It's settled, thanks!" said Sun, reaching for his scroll.</p><p>"Who are you contacting?" Ruby said with rising alarm.</p><p>"Nobody," lied Sun.</p><p>'Nobody' turned out to be Penny and Velvet. It was almost Fox Alastair too, but Fox has no lines and is a non-entity aside from looking neat, so Sun didn't call him.</p><p>"Cheese!" said Velvet, camera flashing.</p><p>"Sal-u-tations, friends! I'm spectator-ready!" said Penny gleefully with a thumbs-up at Ruby. She looked to Velvet, Sun, and Neptune. "Do you think there are enough of us to do 'the wave'? I have long wanted to do 'the wave'!"</p><p>As the teams trooped down to the field, Jaune finally voiced the problem that he'd been sitting on since the game had been decided. "Ruby… you know there aren't enough of us to actually play baseball, right?"</p><p>"Of course there are!" said Ruby.</p><p>"You need more than four people per team," Jaune said stubbornly. "Think about it. If Pyrrha bats first and gets on base, and then Nora gets on base, and then Ren gets to first base…"</p><p>"I wish," muttered Nora.</p><p>"…and I strike out," Jaune said obliviously, "then it's Pyrrha's turn to bat again, except she's still on base. There are a bunch of ways that can happen, and there's no good way to deal with it. Even worse is trying to field. If you have a pitcher and a catcher, that leaves one person for the whole infield, and one person for the whole outfield. It just won't work."</p><p>"Well," said Ruby reluctantly, "we could… each get a few of the people who came to cheer?" She gestured in the direction of the stands. Velvet was taking pictures of everything in sight; Penny was standing and sitting at fixed intervals.</p><p>"We could, but…"</p><p>"Mind if I cut in?"</p><p>Jaune and Ruby looked to the side, where a new voice had piped up.</p><p>"Oh!" said Ruby in recognition. "You're the visiting students from Mistral!"</p><p>Cinder Fall nearly cackled that her ruse was still holding. "You got it," she said. "We heard you were playing baseball today, and we thought it would be a shame to miss it. So I put together a team in the hopes we could play with you."</p><p>"How many of you are there?" said Jaune, puzzled.</p><p>"There's myself, plus Emerald and Mercury." Cinder's 'schoolmates' flanked her. "And I found a few ringers… I mean, pick-up players." Onto the field walked Roman Torchwick, Neo Politan, and a Beowolf.</p><p>"You must be joking," said Weiss.</p><p>"What?" said Cinder innocently. "You don't think we're too easy to beat, do you?"</p><p>"I thought Torchwick was in prison," said Ruby.</p><p>"Well, I'm not in prison, so obviously I'm not Torchwick," said Torchwick, before twirling his bowler hat at the top of his cane and dropping it on his head. Neo clapped at his trick.</p><p>"You're that girl who tried to kill me!" Yang said, pointing at Neo.</p><p>Neo held up a sign reading, "I wish I had."</p><p>"Is that a Beowolf?" said Blake.</p><p>"No," said Cinder, voice dripping with sympathy, "that's Fred. He's a faunus who was in a horrible dust mining accident. You know how it goes."</p><p>"Ragh-raaaugh," said the Beowolf.</p><p>"Like hell it is," Blake muttered.</p><p>Fred the Beowolf whimpered piteously. Compared to other Beowolves the team had seen, it was… well, not <em>cute</em>, exactly, but certainly <em>cuter</em>. Its claws were less "rip-tear-shred" and more "my fingernails need trimming". It was only slightly taller than Jaune, and it seemed smaller because its head was hunched down almost bashfully. Even its fangs were rounded off, like they were just there to suggest "predator-ish animal" instead of scream "nightmare fuel".</p><p>Ruby shrugged. "Seems legit to me."</p><p>"Are you serious?" blurted Blake.</p><p>"Look, we want to play, they want to play… what's the worst that can happen?"</p><p>Blake blinked.</p><p>Jaune got Cinder's attention. "Between RWBY and JNPR we have eight people, and your team—what's your team name, again?"</p><p>"Team Nefarious," said Cinder with relish.</p><p>"Huh," said Jaune. "Ominous and edgy, but over-the-top enough to be non-threatening. I like it. So…" He looked at Ruby, missing how the grass at Cinder's feet spontaneously combusted. "…If they have six and we have eight, we need two people to sit out—"</p><p>"Me!" said Ren and Blake simultaneously.</p><p>"Way to stay in-character," said Weiss drily.</p><p>"You're just jealous you were too slow," said Blake.</p><p>"…and we'll need an umpire," Jaune continued. "Someone not on any of our teams, who we can trust to be a neutral observer."</p><p>"Penny can do it!" said Ruby with a cheer.</p><p>"Me?!" said Penny, hearing Ruby's cries. She got up and walked down towards the field, carefully trying to appear as natural as possible, which just made everyone around her (except Ruby) feel nervous. "You want <em>me</em> to umpire?"</p><p>"Do you know the rules?" asked Cinder.</p><p>"I can access the rules for baseball, softball, and half a dozen derivative games and variants at a moment's notice," said Penny proudly. After seeing the blank stares from everyone around, she added, "That means 'yes'!"</p><p>"Perfect," said Ruby. "We have our teams, we have our umpire, so let's get to it!"</p><p>"We're the challenging team," said Cinder smoothly, "so I think we should get to bat last."</p><p>"Fine by me," said Ruby, even as Jaune said, "I don't think so."</p><p>They took startled looks at each other, even as Cinder selectively heard Ruby over Jaune. "How generous of you to agree. We'll go out to the field. Send your first batter when you're ready."</p><p>"Ruby, batting last is an advantage in baseball!" Jaune hissed.</p><p>"Is it?" said Ruby, curious. "Eh, whatever, we'll smoke 'em anyway!"</p><p>"We don't know what they can do!" said Jaune. "We don't know what we're getting into! We've been playing all these games against each other—we only know our teammates!"</p><p>"Exactly," said Ruby, grinning slyly as she led him back to their milling teams. "We know each other pretty well, huh?"</p><p>"I see what you're thinking," said Jaune as they neared their friends. "We can combine our powers better with each other. The problem is… this is baseball! A skills competition masquerading as a team sport! There aren't team attacks in baseball!"</p><p>"Then you're not trying hard enough," Ruby said lightly. She turned her attention to the other four players. "You ready, team?"</p><p>Across the field, Mercury cocked his head. "So, how is this going to lead to their destruction, exactly?"</p><p>"Silence, peon," snapped Cinder. "You'll know when it's time for you to know. Now get to the outfield."</p><p>"Whatever," he said, shrugging and walking off.</p><p>"Emerald, you're pitching," Cinder said. The green-haired girl nodded—this, at least, they'd discussed. "Fred, you're catching." The innocuously-named Beowolf growled and wandered in the direction of home plate. "Roman, you're on first base."</p><p>"Whaaaat? Why do <em>I</em> have to be at first base?" Roman whined.</p><p>"Because it's a drudge position and I hate you," Cinder said unabashedly. She felt, rather than saw, Neo giving her the stink face. "And the ice cream girl can go to <em>short</em>stop."</p><p>The diminutive Neo raised a sign that read, "Am I a joke to you?", but Cinder refused to look at her.</p><p>"I'm not getting paid enough for this," Roman grumbled, but he headed in the proper direction. Truth be told, his reaction was all Cinder really wanted. It wasn't like he'd need to field anything at first base, anyway. Emerald would see to that.</p><p>"Ruby will be our leadoff hitter," said Jaune, marshaling the team. "With her speed, any hit gets her on base, and any support brings her home. Pyrrha, you're next. Then we've got our two biggest hitters, Yang and Nora." The two powerhouses did a burst of competitive flexing. "Then… well… me and Weiss."</p><p>It was defensible baseball tactics, but Pyrrha still jerked as if she'd been stabbed, and everyone else (except Weiss) took careful note of how Jaune had secured a seat next to the heiress.</p><p>"I'm all over it," said Ruby, grabbing a bat. She immediately looked it over disapprovingly. "Man, this seems really sub-optimized. There's no secondary handgrip or…"</p><p>"Ruby," said Yang warningly, "this isn't the time to go full weapons-nerd and redesign the baseball bat on the fly. Go play the game, please?"</p><p>"Oh, fine," said Ruby, twirling the bat around herself. Given that Crescent Rose weighed far more than a relative toothpick like a baseball bat, she was able to whip the bat around with terrific speed and precision.</p><p>Emerald did not look intimidated. She had a sinister smile on her face.</p><p>"Batter up!" called Penny. From the stands, Velvet snapped several pictures, while Sun hooted and hollered and Neptune looked bored, but in a cool way.</p><p>Emerald reared back, wound up, and released—</p><p>-and the ball was already almost past Ruby—</p><p>-she swung by instinct and terror, but the bat never connected—</p><p>Thump.</p><p>"Strike one!" said Penny.</p><p>Ruby's jaw dropped, as did every jaw in the RWBY-JNPR dugout, every jaw in the stands, and the jaw of a passing bird.</p><p>"How did she miss that badly?" said Weiss. "She's a dolt, but she's more coordinated than <em>that</em>!"</p><p>Another pitch. It looked to Ruby like it might be going away, but then it curved in, right into the zone, and she couldn't resist—</p><p>Whiff.</p><p>Thump.</p><p>"Strike two!" said Penny.</p><p>"No, seriously, what's going on?" said Weiss with increasing distress. "I've studied Ruby's abilities in great detail—to make our combo attacks work better," she specified at the curious looks and less-than-subtle smirks from her teammates. "She can't be doing this…"</p><p>Whiff.</p><p>Thump.</p><p>"Strike three!"</p><p>"…poorly."</p><p>"You're out!" said Penny, gesturing broadly. Then her voice dropped, along with her head. "I did not enjoy that," she said reproachfully to Ruby. "Please get a hit next time?"</p><p>"I'm doing my best," Ruby said, trying to force bubbliness into her voice. She felt… messed with. Like someone had spiked her cookies. Something wasn't right.</p><p>Emerald's smirk was larger than ever. Cinder was almost glowing with glee.</p><p>"Is this really necessary?" Mercury called over from left field.</p><p>"Of course it is," Cinder said luxuriously.</p><p>"But if we're doing this as part of our 'nefarious plan'," he said, using his fingers for the scare quotes, "and the goal is to destroy them, why bother trying to win the game?"</p><p>"That attitude right there is why you're just a lackey," Cinder said.</p><p>"Whatever."</p><p>At home plate, Pyrrha was having little better luck than Ruby had.</p><p>"Strike two!" said Penny.</p><p>Pyrrha frowned and stepped away from the plate. She knew she should have hit. She'd seen her bat pass to where the ball should be, and yet nothing. That wasn't possible. She <em>couldn't</em> have misjudged where the ball was. Then again, Ruby couldn't have, either. They were trained professionals, and Ruby had swung far too early and far too wildly compared to where the ball actually… was…</p><p>A possibility was churning through Pyrrha's mind. Time to test it. She stepped up to the plate again.</p><p>As before, Emerald wound up, released…</p><p>Pyrrha locked her eyes on the ball… and then closed them.</p><p>She heard the 'thump' of the ball hitting the catcher's mitt… at the wrong time, in the wrong place.</p><p>"Ball!"</p><p>Pyrrha exhaled. <em>Is that how it is?</em> One more test.</p><p>She took her very best swing at the next pitch and, of course, missed completely, just as she expected. She closed her mind to the groans from the RWBY-JNPR dugout and Penny's cry that she was out. Instead, she pointed her bat at the pitcher's mound, just as she might point her spear. "Did we agree to the use of semblances?" she said.</p><p>"Who's using a semblance?" Emerald retorted.</p><p>"That's a different question," said Pyrrha, and a tight smile formed on her face. "Thank you."</p><p>"What's going on?" Jaune said as she approached the dugout and Yang headed for home plate. "Both you and Ruby going down swinging…"</p><p>"Wait a moment, Yang," said Pyrrha. "Jaune, how many of those pitches would have been strikes if Ruby and I hadn't swung?"</p><p>"Huh?" said Jaune, taken aback. "Um… maybe one or two? That pitcher's control doesn't seem very good. Which is why it's so bizarre you and Ruby kept swinging!"</p><p>"Not bizarre at all," said Pyrrha grimly. She looked to Yang. "When you get up there, don't swing."</p><p>"But swinging is my thing!" Yang protested.</p><p>"You're not fooling anyone," Blake called from the stands.</p><p>"Try to contain yourself," said Pyrrha obliviously. "Don't swing."</p><p>Yang blinked, uncomprehending. "If you say so. But if she serves me up a meatball, I'm gonna crush it over the moon!"</p><p>"No, you won't," said Pyrrha, and the tight smile was emerging on her face again. "That's the trick. Just stand there."</p><p>Yang glanced at Jaune, but Jaune had a thoughtful expression on his face. "Do what she says," he said. Pyrrha flushed.</p><p>Yang rolled her eyes. "You're wasting my talents," she said as she walked up to the plate.</p><p>Cinder was delighted. So far, so good—two strikeouts on seven pitches, Emerald could keep that up all day. This would be trivial…</p><p>"Ball one!"</p><p>Cinder blinked. Okay, a fluke was no big…</p><p>"Ball two!"</p><p>Uh oh.</p><p>Yang was getting bored. The temptation to swing was overwhelming, and those pitches had been soooo appetizing. Either one would have been an instant home run, she frankly didn't understand how they could be balls. Maybe there was something off about Penny. <em>More</em> off, anyway.</p><p>Emerald delivered a pitch straight down the pike, an absolute turkey, and Yang couldn't resist. Focusing her aura, she swung with all her prodigious might…</p><p>…and obliterated the air in front of her.</p><p>"Strike one!"</p><p>Stumbling in the aftermath of her swing, Yang looked to her dugout with shock on her face. Pyrrha made an expression that seemed to say, "See what I mean?!" Abashed, Yang resolved not to swing again.</p><p>"Ball three!... Ball four!"</p><p>"So that's it," said Jaune. "Emerald is actually a bad pitcher, but there's something going on—with this stadium, with the ball, with someone's semblance—that's making us think the pitches are good. So we swing and miss, when really she's pitching all over the place. We'd never get a hit!"</p><p>"But with how bad her control is," Pyrrha said, "all we have to do is wait for her to walk everyone."</p><p>Nora sighed. "Does that mean I don't get to swing either?"</p><p>"Not unless they make a pitching change," said Jaune.</p><p>Nora looked to Pyrrha. "Does he always make cool things lame?"</p><p>"I d-don't… uh…" babbled Pyrrha.</p><p>Nora rolled her eyes and went up to the mound, somehow managing to bounce and sulk at the same time.</p><p>"Ball one!"</p><p>Emerald was rattled. She'd been prepared to write off Yang's walk, but now it seemed like the students had a strategy. Her control abandoned her as she let fly the next pitch.</p><p>It hit Nora in the shoulder.</p><p>Emerald clasped a hand over her mouth as Nora's aura crackled. The student dugout roared with outrage; scattered boos came from the stands. Nora, for her part, just laughed and made a 'bring it' wave.</p><p>"You've gotta do better than that!" Nora called. "C'mon, if you're gonna hit me, hit me like you mean it!"</p><p>"The runner may advance," Penny said firmly. "And Miss Sustrai, I am obliged to issue you an official caution. I will eject you if this happens again."</p><p>Then, like flipping a switch, Penny dropped her official demeanor. "Is it rude to say that I want to eject you? I have been simulating my ejection protocol, and it would be so exciting to get to use it! Could you do something to compel your ejection, please?"</p><p>"Emerald!"</p><p>Wincing, Emerald turned away from Penny and towards Cinder, who was stalking in towards her from the outfield. Given the choice between Penny's oddness and Cinder's wrath, Emerald would have chosen… being eaten by an Ursa. "What's going on?" Cinder demanded.</p><p>"I think they get it," said Emerald, cringing before the boss' temper. "Or at least, they get that I'm a bad pitcher, and that's close enough."</p><p>"I see," said Cinder. "Mercury!"</p><p>Her other disciple came jogging up. "Yeah?"</p><p>"You're pitching now," said Cinder. "Emerald will take your place in the outfield."</p><p>"Sure," said Mercury indifferently.</p><p>"What? This jackwagon?" said Emerald, pointing at Mercury. "We never practiced with him pitching!"</p><p>"Sad you disappointed mommy?" taunted Mercury.</p><p>"Focus on the game before I have to fry you," Cinder said menacingly at Mercury.</p><p>Properly chastened, Mercury headed for the mound, while Emerald moped her way to left field.</p><p>Jaune came out to bat. The first pitch he let go by, just as a test. When Penny called it a strike and it seemed to reach the catcher when and how it was supposed to, he decided that Team Nefarious' shenanigans were over (or at least on-hold), and he geared up for the second pitch.</p><p>It was almost the same as the first, a low-speed arcing pitch with no spin. This one was lower, though, as if Mercury could only just barely get it to the plate. Jaune chased it all the same, and hit a low grounder directly at Neo.</p><p>
  <em>Get the ball.</em>
</p><p>It is important to remember that the creatures of grimm are not animals. While some vaguely resemble more wholesome beings, all the creatures of grimm are manifestations of destruction, loathing, and hate. They are consumption and jealousy given form. They are not possessed of any qualities of the animals they might superficially resemble.</p><p>Except when they are.</p><p>Cinder had requested a <em>tame</em> Beowolf, one suitable for "daytime use", whatever that meant. She had asked for a Beowolf that would be loyal and obedient, capable of following limited orders, and not prone to gorging on the flesh of the living unless it was told to do so.</p><p>Salem thought the whole thing was an extravagant waste of magic, so she took the path of least resistance. Rather than trying to recode and customize grimm behaviors, she'd lifted programming from a creature that was already loyal, obedient, and order-bound: <em>Canis lupus familiaris</em>.</p><p>The domesticated dog.</p><p>But there's a lot of "junk code" in dog programming, and Salem hadn't bothered to clean it up…</p><p>
  <em>Get the ball.</em>
</p><p>Fred the Beowolf rocketed out of his catcher's stance, maw gaping, single-minded in his pursuit of that holy of holies, the bouncing ball. Neo had been moving to scoop it up; she saw Fred coming just in time and leapt out of the way. The ball trickled on out towards the outfield. Fred chased it down, snapped it up in his muzzle, and whipped his head about to worry the ball in a fit of canine glee.</p><p>Behind him, Yang and Nora scored runs, while Jaune stayed on first, not wanting to get anywhere near the Beowolf-dog and its prize.</p><p>"No!" said Cinder, storming in. "Bad! Bad Fred!"</p><p>The Beowolf dropped to the ground, whimpering around the ball still in its mouth.</p><p>"Drop it," Cinder said sternly, one finger extended with approbation. "Drop it, I say!"</p><p>Miserably, Fred opened his mouth a bit more, allowing the ball to roll out.</p><p>"Bad Fred!" Cinder said again as she strode forward and took up the ball. "No giblets!"</p><p>Fred whined piteously. The giblets were the <em>best part</em>. Fred was sure of that, even if he didn't know exactly what they were. (To be fair, neither did Cinder.)</p><p>"Go," she said, pointing to home plate again. "Catcher."</p><p>Fred staggered onto his hind legs and shuffled back to his post. He'd actually <em>caught the ball</em> this time, and she was treating it like it was a Bad Thing. He wasn't… Bad, was he? He desperately wanted to not be Bad… he was a Good Fred, he had to be…</p><p>Weiss came up to the plate and, mercifully, ended the inning with a line drive directly into Emerald's glove.</p><p>"Good inning, good inning!" cheered Ruby. "We're up, 2-0! Now let's go hold 'em! I can handle the whole outfield. Yang, we want you catching." The blonde raised an eyebrow, but Ruby didn't explain. "Pyrrha, Jaune, which of the two of you is a better pitcher?"</p><p>"She is." "He is."</p><p>They exchanged startled, blushing looks.</p><p>Ruby's eyes went back and forth between them. "That didn't answer my question."</p><p>"I haven't done it before," Pyrrha said.</p><p>"Yeah, but throwing a baseball uses a lot of the same motions as throwing a spear, and with the way I've seen you throw your spears I was sure it would translate over." Jaune looked at Ruby, missing the way Pyrrha put a hand over her heart and mouthed 'he noticed'. "But I suppose I could pitch, too. With enough confidence, anyway."</p><p>Ruby shared a glance with Weiss that seemed to communicate "They need serious counseling". "Aaaalright, in that case, Jaune, we'll start you off as pitcher, and Pyrrha can take over later once she's got the idea. In the meantime, she can go to second base. Nora, you're first base. Weiss…"</p><p>"Let me guess," said Weiss with a roll of her eyes. "Glyph duty."</p><p>"You're so smart!" said Ruby, clapping. "I keep saying, that's why she always does so well on our tests…"</p><p>"It's because I actually study, you dolt!" Weiss called after Ruby's retreating form as the younger girl flounced towards the outfield.</p><p>Confident, thought Jaune. Confident. Yeah, that's the way.</p><p>He looked up and saw Cinder striding up to the plate.</p><p>His confidence melted before hers.</p><p>He could never have described it, but there was an elemental difference between having confidence and projecting confidence. She didn't even have to swing. She just looked at him, and he melted.</p><p>He walked her on four straight balls.</p><p>From third base, Weiss called back to Ruby, "Is he okay?"</p><p>"Let him settle in," Ruby replied.</p><p>Up next was Neo. Jaune relaxed this time, and threw hard enough that Yang's aura intermittently activated. It took him eight pitches, but eventually he got Neo to chase a pitch that went high and away. That brought Roman to the plate.</p><p>He twirled his bat as casually as he might otherwise twirl his cane. Just outside the batter's box, he stopped and glanced at Penny. "Hey, Freckles, I've only ever seen you in the one outfit. Is that all you've got?"</p><p>"Yes," she said, brightly but confusedly. "Why do you ask?"</p><p>Roman shrugged nonchalantly. "Just wondering. I was thinking about what you might get for yourself if you had the money for it."</p><p>Penny's oversized eyes blinked. "Are you… trying to bribe me, Mr. Not-Torchwick?" Before he could play it off or deny it, she clapped her hands. "Oh, how delightful! No one has ever tried to bribe me before! I don't know corruption protocol, so I am interested in how this all works. Tell me, is the next step circumlocution, or temporary denial and later reengagement? Or is it more proper to begin negotiating price right away?"</p><p>Roman blinked. "Sorry, I didn't mean it. It was just reflex, you know? Forget I said anything."</p><p>"Okay, temporary denial and later reengagement it is!" said Penny. She gave Torchwick a thumbs-up and continued in a louder voice, "Of course, Mr. Not-Torchwick. We would not want anyone to think you are dishonest." She ended with a wink, except it took her two full seconds to make the gesture.</p><p>Roman shook his head and stepped into the batter's box. Yang was fit to burst from holding in her laughter.</p><p>He let the first strike go by, but squared himself on the second and launched it deep into right field.</p><p>Where, in a blur of rose petals, Ruby appeared underneath it and snagged it.</p><p>"Why is it always Little Red?!" Roman exploded.</p><p>Ruby playfully stuck her tongue out at him even as she tossed the ball back to the infield.</p><p>"Wait a minute!" Cinder called from first base. "You used a semblance! Who said we can use semblances?"</p><p>"Who said we couldn't?" Ruby shot back. "And if we couldn't, what was going on with that little ball trick while Emerald was pitching, huh?"</p><p>"I don't know what you're talking about," said Cinder unconvincingly. "But you clearly used a semblance just now."</p><p>"This is what umpires are for," said Ruby with a shrug. "Penny!"</p><p>"Yes, Ruby?"</p><p>"Can we use semblances in this game?"</p><p>"Hm." Penny appeared to consider it. "It is not in the official rules one way or the other, nor was it discussed prior to the game's start. Therefore, I will randomize. I will give a fifty-fifty chance to each proposition and pick at random."</p><p>Even as she said that, though, she gave Ruby one of her extra-long winks. Cinder, who could see the gesture perfectly well, sagged in exasperation.</p><p>After waiting what she thought was an appropriate amount of time, Penny announced, "Semblances will be allowed in this game. Conduct yourselves accordingly!"</p><p>"Cheers," said Ruby, giving a mock salute to Cinder and tossing the ball back to Jaune.</p><p>Back at home plate, Penny got Roman's attention. "Excuse me. Am I doing 'the corruption' properly?"</p><p>"Brilliant," said Torchwick with sarcasm so deep it came all the way back around to sincerity. "Keep doing exactly what you're doing."</p><p>"Hooray!"</p><p>Mercury was up next. He smacked a hot grounder, but Pyrrha handled it neatly and forced him out at first base, stranding Cinder at second. She did not take it gracefully. "Why is it so hard to find good help these days?!" she fumed.</p><p>"I'd say she's… hot-tempered," Yang said with a wink into the stands. Blake pretended not to notice.</p><p>As Team RWBY came up to bat, Ruby led them off. She made contact with the first pitch that came—</p><p>
  <em>Get the ball.</em>
</p><p>"Sit, Fred!"</p><p>Fred tried to chase the ball and sit at the same time. It went about as well as you might expect.</p><p>Neo scooped up the ball on its first hop and, in one clean motion, threw it to first. It should have been a routine out.</p><p>The trouble was that rose petals were whipping past first base before the ball even left Neo's hand. The red blur was rounding third by the time Roman caught the ball at first. There was no hope for Roman to cut off Ruby at home plate, because Ruby was crossing home before he could wind up to throw and, anyway, no member of Team Nefarious was covering home, because Fred was a quivering puddle of contradictions at the moment.</p><p>"Inside-the-park home run, woo-hoo!" hollered Ruby jubilantly.</p><p>"Get that girl a Shirley Shrine!" whooped Yang.</p><p>"We are <em>not</em> burning down this ballpark," said Weiss with a stomp.</p><p>Pyrrha hit a line drive and, by hustling and with the help of a glyph that accelerated the ball past a leaping Roman, turned it into a double. Yang popped up; Cinder barely got a hold of it, but Pyrrha advanced to third anyway, beating Cinder's throw.</p><p>"You're up, Nora," said Jaune.</p><p>She looked at him with a blazing expression. "I can swing this time, right?"</p><p>"Please do," said Jaune graciously.</p><p>Nora shot him what Ren had always called "<em>that</em> smile—the one that's thrilling and also deeply terrifying".</p><p>Ren watched her approach the plate. "Here we go," he muttered.</p><p>"What do you mean?" Blake asked.</p><p>"Football is Nora's favorite sport," Ren explained. "The passion and the dominance and the violence and all that. But, of all the sports, baseball is the one that best matches her skillset."</p><p>Mercury tried to pitch around her, he honestly did. After the third ball, though, he was forced to put something in the strike zone.</p><p>The crack that followed was so resounding that Ozpin, up in his office at Beacon, spilled his coffee in surprise.</p><p>"Crushing things with a blunt object," Ren concluded as Blake's wide eyes lost track of the ball.</p><p>"Did that just achieve escape velocity?" asked Blake.</p><p>"It can't be ruled out."</p><p>"I told you this is the best, didn't I?" said Sun, elbowing Velvet even as he clapped.</p><p>"It is pretty good," Velvet admitted. "When are they going to use the other weapons?"</p><p>"Huh?" said Sun, confused.</p><p>"They're all using the same weapons," she specified, pointing at the field. "Those same bats keep getting passed around. Is that all they use?"</p><p>"In this game, yeah," said Sun.</p><p>"Oh," said Velvet, clearly disappointed. "That's too bad."</p><p>"But there's plenty of picture-taking opportunities, right?" said Sun.</p><p>"I think I got enough," said Velvet. She brought up the first using her camera's holo function. It was a picture of a bat.</p><p>Followed by another picture of a bat.</p><p>Followed by fifty different pictures of bats.</p><p>"You're probably right," said Sun.</p><p>"That ball is irretrievable. We will use one of our spares," said Penny as she reached into the package Weiss had given her.</p><p>"Thanks," said Mercury, catching Penny's toss. He promptly served up a wounded duck of a pitch. Jaune got a good piece of it and sent it into center field; he'd managed a double by the time Emerald corralled it.</p><p>"Why are all Mercury's pitches getting launched back at us?" growled Cinder. "They're teeing off on him."</p><p>Emerald rolled her eyes. "Of course he'd be bad at pitching. Haven't you ever seen him work out?"</p><p>"No. Why?"</p><p>"For Mercury, every day is leg day."</p><p>Cinder's eyes popped open. They popped even wider when Weiss—Weiss, of all people!—slapped Mercury's first pitch so hard it would have been a triple for sure if it hadn't drifted foul.</p><p>"Conference on the mound!" Cinder called, and all members of Team Nefarious converged on the pitcher's mound. "Mercury! Are you trying to get barbecued?"</p><p>The assassin shrugged. "It's not my fault you're not playing to my strengths."</p><p>"That doesn't explain why your technique is abominable," she added.</p><p>He shared a glance with Emerald. "Do you honestly think either of us have played baseball before? You might as well call us Team Tragic Backstory. We don't have one well-adjusted childhood between us."</p><p>"Fine, you're in the outfield," Cinder fumed.</p><p>"Sounds like you'll need a new pitcher," said Roman. "And I happen to know one."</p><p>Cinder gave Torchwick a look suggesting she had vast reserves of being unimpressed that she hadn't even begun to tap. "Neo is the new pitcher, which moves Emerald to shortstop," she said. "And we'll be using Nefarious Plan Purple."</p><p>"We're not numbering them anymore?" said Emerald with a confused blink.</p><p>"No, because that just reminded people how many… I mean, this way is more elegant," Cinder said.</p><p>In the students' dugout, Ruby leaned close to Yang. "It's the hidden ball trick, isn't it?"</p><p>"Totally."</p><p>And yet, when the conference broke up, Neo was very obviously throwing the ball up and down while she waited for her teammates to take position. "Huh," said Ruby. "I thought for sure…"</p><p>Neo settled into her stance as Weiss returned to the batter's box. Neo wound up, threw—the ball was straight as an arrow, Weiss squared on it—</p><p>-and it shattered like glass and vanished.</p><p>Jaune stumbled. "Huh?"</p><p>"Tag." Emerald stepped up behind Jaune and tapped him with the ball.</p><p>"I… guess he's out," said Penny.</p><p>Jaune looked back and forth between Emerald, who was grinning cheekily, and Neo, who was holding a sign that said, "Ha ha ha." "That's… pretty clever, actually," said Jaune, impressed.</p><p>"Just what I needed," said Emerald with an eyeroll. "Vomit Boy's approval."</p><p>"How do you know that name?" said Jaune, blushing crimson.</p><p>"Your legend will never die. Now get off my basepath."</p><p>Neo struck out Weiss to end the inning. "That's okay!" said Ruby enthusiastically. "We're up 5-0, that's a huge margin, and we've got our best hitters coming up next inning! Let's put 'em down!"</p><p>Emerald was first up to bat. She hit a grounder that Pyrrha fielded exactly right, but when she threw it to Nora at first, Nora lunged the wrong direction and the ball went past her. Emerald was safe.</p><p>"I hope I don't have to swear off daquiris," Nora muttered. Emerald sniggered.</p><p>That brought up Fred. Holding a baseball bat was not a natural act for a Beowolf, but, then again, nothing about this was natural for a Beowolf. He did his best.</p><p>He lasted all of one pitch.</p><p>The Beowolf instinct to devour and the canine instinct to <em>Get the ball</em> intersected as Jaune's pitch came in. Fred lunged out at it maw-first, snatched it up in mid-air, and rolled as he hit the ground to worry the ball to shreds.</p><p>Yang blinked and looked up at Penny. "Uh… I don't even know where to start, here."</p><p>"I do not believe there is a provision in the rulebook for what happens if the batter bites a pitch," Penny said, as confused as Yang. "The batter was not struck by the pitch, but did interfere with the ball in the strike zone, which is a strike." She looked again at Fred, who was whipping the ball back and forth in his maw. "Although I think we have progressed to fielding interference," she added.</p><p>"I'm sure you're right," said Yang flatteringly. "No one knows the rules better than you."</p><p>"You're out!" shouted Penny.</p><p>"No! Bad Fred, bad!"</p><p>Fred froze in shame, spat out the ball, then went slinking back to Team Nefarious' dugout. That couldn't be right. He'd done everything he was supposed to, he'd <em>gotten the ball</em>, and that was right, but now he was a Bad Fred anyway…</p><p>Creatures of grimm don't typically have existential crises, but the few that do find them crippling.</p><p>Penny examined the ball as it was brought back to her. "These bite marks are rather severe. Fred has very high bite strength for a faunus. Maybe that is his semblance."</p><p>Blake had to use both palms to hide her face.</p><p>"I judge that this ball is unplayable," said Penny, throwing the ball into the stands. (Neptune ducked just in time.) "I will now use our last spare."</p><p>That brought Cinder to the plate again. Jaune was little better composed this time. His first pitch was behind her. His second nearly hit Neptune. "Oh, yeah, audience participation!" shouted Sun. "I am totally on board! Can we get some t-shirts up here?"</p><p>Neptune glanced at Sun, tried to count the number of times he'd seen Sun wear a shirt that covered his abs… and decided it wasn't worth contesting.</p><p>Cinder made it to first without swinging, pushing Emerald to second. Neo came up again. She made solid contact, but a black glyph appeared in front of it and turned it from a potential homer into a sacrifice fly. Even so, Emerald scored and Cinder got to third. Two outs.</p><p>Roman came up to the plate. "Glad to see you back, Mr. Not-Torchwick," said Penny. "Is it time to start negotiating prices, or are we still in the plausible deniability phase?"</p><p>Roman sighed. "You are enough to make a career criminal consider honest living."</p><p>"General Ironwood would be so very proud of me," said Penny cheerfully.</p><p>"I said 'consider'."</p><p>Jaune's pitch got away from him a little. Torchwick pounced. He got a good piece of it, and returned it to its sender. Jaune's aura sparked violently as the ball smacked against his face and popped up into the air.</p><p>"No, Jaune!"</p><p>Pyrrha was well in motion, her competitive spirit and natural gifts amplified by something molten. By the time Jaune had crumpled to the ground, Pyrrha was scooping up the ball. She could have pivoted and thrown to first to get Roman out, but her Huntress instincts had activated: Cinder was making a break for home. Pyrrha matched her stride for stride on an intercept course. They collided just in front of home plate. Pyrrha didn't merely tag Cinder out; the force of her lunge took Cinder off her feet and activated her aura.</p><p>Cinder rolled to a crouch and faced the Invincible Girl, and for a moment, a current passed between them so charged and potent Nora could have powered up from it.</p><p>"Out!" called Penny. "Out number three—the inning is over!"</p><p>"After you," Pyrrha growled.</p><p>"You wish," Cinder replied.</p><p>Neither moved, even as all the other players went to their respective dugouts. To break the staredown would be to admit weakness. Neither could do that.</p><p>Jaune approached. "Uh… Pyrrha?"</p><p>The Mistrali Champion twitched. "Yes, Jaune?"</p><p>"Could you come back to the dugout with us?"</p><p>"Oh… right. I'm sorry."</p><p>Neither Pyrrha nor Cinder moved.</p><p>Emerald looked at Mercury. "Shouldn't we go get her?"</p><p>He gave her a look. "Do you wanna go anywhere near her right now?"</p><p>"Good point."</p><p>Sun munched popcorn.</p><p>Ruby sighed. "I guess it's all up to me." She walked up close behind Pyrrha. "Hey, Pyrrha. Pyyyyyyyyrrha. Can you hear me?"</p><p>"Yes, Ruby?" said Pyrrha through clenched teeth.</p><p>Ruby leaned in and, in the softest of whispers, said, "Jaune said you're pretty."</p><p>Pyrrha's head whipped around at Jaune, then at Ruby; she blushed furiously. "He <em>did</em>?"</p><p>"Did what?" said Ruby innocently, and she skipped back to the dugout.</p><p>"Ha!" said Cinder. She looked down at Pyrrha as she walked past. "I win this round."</p><p>"I thought I tagged you out," Pyrrha said, her voice sharp as an aura-infused spear.</p><p>"Don't start that again," called Ruby, and Pyrrha reluctantly (and confusedly) returned to the dugout.</p><p>Ruby was first up to bat. She pointed back at Weiss as she left the dugout and said, "Lichen, okay?"</p><p>Jaune frowned. "And… moss and herbs to you," he tried.</p><p>Weiss rolled her eyes. "Lichen is a plant that grows close to…"</p><p>"I know what lichen is," Jaune said defensively. "But what does it mean?"</p><p>Weiss smiled. "It means, <em>ice flowers very close to the ground</em>."</p><p>Neo pitched.</p><p>Ruby bunted.</p><p>Weiss wouldn't have been able to put a glyph in front of a normal swing; the timing and motion of the bat itself would have made it too hard, and the glyph would have accelerated the pitch just as much as the hit, with unpredictable results. But a bunt necessarily drives the ball low to the ground, below where pitches travel, and in few enough locations that a glyph could be accurately positioned in time.</p><p>The ball came off Ruby's bat, touched down on a white glyph, and shot up a gap in the infield.</p><p>Ruby was on second base before anyone knew what was happening.</p><p>"Out of the way!" screamed Cinder, storming in towards the infield. "Out of the way! I'll do it myself!"</p><p>Neo, rolling her eyes, tossed Cinder the ball and held up a sign that said, "Whatever you want."</p><p>"You can't beat this for entertainment," said Sun, finishing his popcorn. He held the box to Neptune. "Hey, you want the last of this?"</p><p>"Nah, I'm good," Neptune replied.</p><p>"I brought some candy, too. Want any?"</p><p>"How did you… never mind. I'm totally fine."</p><p>"Bottled water?"</p><p>Neptune recoiled away, glaring at Sun. "Dude! Uncool."</p><p>"Oooh, I can't wait for this," said Sun, forgetting his teammate's discomfort. "Check this out!"</p><p>Pyrrha was coming to the plate.</p><p>She was very nearly scowling as she took her stance. Cinder smirked at her. The first pitch was so far inside it nearly brushed Pyrrha's knuckles. She didn't even flinch.</p><p>"Ms. Fall," said Penny sternly, "we have already had one player hit by a pitch today. I suggest you be more cautious."</p><p>"It's fine," said Pyrrha.</p><p>"What she said," Cinder agreed.</p><p>The next pitch was at the corner of the zone. "Strike one!" said Penny.</p><p>"You can do better," Cinder taunted.</p><p>"So can you," said Pyrrha.</p><p>Cinder smiled. "If you insist."</p><p>Roman and Neo exchanged looks. Neo held up a sign that read, "What a bunch of try-hards."</p><p>"Neo," said Roman, "you took the words right out of my mouth."</p><p>Cinder's next pitch received as much aura as Cinder could put into it. It was a rocket.</p><p>Pyrrha still whipped her bat around in time to get a piece of it. There was a shriek as the ball popped up foul.</p><p>
  <em>Get the ball.</em>
</p><p>Fred the Beowolf chased it down, trying to get under it. <em>Get the ball get the ball get the ball…</em></p><p>He lunged. Instincts well-suited to the annihilation of all creation threw him into the air after a pseudo-sphere of hide, because life is funny like that sometimes.</p><p>"Out!"</p><p>"Good boy! Good boy, Fred!"</p><p>Fred, flat on his back with the ball in his mouth, felt his tail, for the first time ever, wag.</p><p>Pyrrha's look at Cinder was hard. "I may be out, but this isn't over."</p><p>"I wouldn't have it any other way," said Cinder.</p><p>Pyrrha's fury had not abated when she got back to the dugout, but Yang was there for her. "Hey, don't worry. I've got this!" said the blonde.</p><p>Pyrrha's eyes flashed. "Annihilate her for me."</p><p>"Can do," said Yang with a thumbs-up.</p><p>"Oh, <em>gosh</em>," said Blake in disgust. "Seriously, can you get any more fan-servicey?"</p><p>"What?" said Ren, perplexed.</p><p>Blake shook her head. "Never mind."</p><p>Jaune walked up. "Yang," he said, smiling, "have you figured out yet why Ruby and I put you at catcher?"</p><p>"I think I have," said Yang, her smile brighter than ever.</p><p>She grabbed a bat and strolled for home plate—nonchalantly, unhurried. Not cool, because Yang Xiao Long never ran cool, but at a pace that let her know Cinder was tracking her every motion and waiting on her.</p><p>It didn't take much to get under people's skin, sometimes.</p><p>"Hey, Cinder!" she said as she approached the batter's box. "Hope you've got some heat left over for me!"</p><p>Cinder's temper rose. "Oh, it's <em>heat</em> you want, is it?" In the palm of Cinder's hand, the ball was warming up.</p><p>Yang gave her a cocky grin and stepped up to the plate. "It doesn't take much for me to ignite," she said. "I'm gonna burn you to a…"</p><p>She didn't finish; Cinder growled.</p><p>"…waaaaait for it…" Yang teased.</p><p>"A <em>cinder</em>?" Cinder hissed.</p><p>"I was gonna say 'crisp'," said Yang, shrugging as if she didn't care but with a mocking smirk on her face. "You're just being conceited."</p><p>Cinder wanted to snarl. The ball was smoking in her hand. She set herself, reared back—</p><p>Yang activated her semblance.</p><p>It didn't have too much extra juice behind it. Even aura-enhanced pitches don't damage a Huntress on the same scale as, say, tanking a rocket blast or being punched through a concrete pillar. But Yang's strength was phenomenal even without the help, and that little bit of extra oomph could count for a lot…</p><p>Cinder ignited the ball as she pitched it, imbuing it with flame and as much energy as she could manage. It was a literal fireball.</p><p>And Yang's bat was right there to meet it.</p><p>There was a flash.</p><p>An explosion of ash.</p><p>And then there was nothing. Nothing but a black mark on Yang's bat and bits of char both ahead of and behind her.</p><p>For a moment, no one knew what to do. Then Ruby said, "That… looks like a hit to me?" And she started jogging along the base path.</p><p>Several eyes went to Penny. She looked around, thought for a moment, looked at Ruby, smiled, and spoke. "As I do not see the ball anywhere and we know that Yang hit it, I am forced to conclude that the ball has left the stadium. That qualifies as a home run."</p><p>"YEAH!" Yang crowed triumphantly as Cinder's jaw dropped in outrage.</p><p>"Seven-one!" shouted Ruby as Yang started her circle of the bases.</p><p>Penny looked out at Torchwick. "Mr. Not-Torchwick! How is 'the corruption' going now?"</p><p>Roman looked pained. "Beautifully. You are an inspiration to us all."</p><p>Penny nodded cheerily, then announced to all, "I am sorry to report that this was our last ball. The game is now over. Combined Team RWBY-JNPR has triumphed, seven runs to one!"</p><p>RWBY and JNPR came roaring out of the dugout, screaming up a storm. Sun produced three clones of himself to make the maximum amount of ruckus. Even Blake and Ren found it within themselves to calmly clap for their teammates.</p><p>"Oh, you need more balls?" said Velvet, perplexed. "I think I could probably come up with mmph."</p><p>Annoyed, she looked up at Sun, who had blocked her mouth with his tail to shut her up. The Vacuoan gave her a wink before returning to his cheering.</p><p>"This calls for celebration!" whooped Ruby. "RWBY! JNPR! Friends! Back to Beacon so we can tear the place <em>up</em>!"</p><p>And Cinder watched, furious, from the pitcher's mound as the various teenagers made their way off the diamond.</p><p>Neo and Roman passed by the would-be villainess. "Sooo…" said Roman, "…it looks like our business here is done! Unless you've got a bit more lien for me to make today. If not, I think I have some dishonesty to get to, so I'll be splitting."</p><p>Neo held up a sign that said, "That means 'So long, suckers!'"</p><p>When Cinder didn't promptly respond, Roman did what he did best, and made a quick and clean getaway with Neo in tow.</p><p>It was several minutes before Mercury and Emerald could bring themselves to approach Cinder. (A bewildered Fred had gotten swept up in the floating victory party and was going through his second existential crisis of the day.) "Um… Cinder?" hazarded Emerald.</p><p>"Whyyyyyy?" said Cinder, posing dramatically. "Why why whyyyy? Victory was within our grasp!"</p><p>"We were getting our doors blown off," said Mercury.</p><p>"We had a comeback in us," Cinder insisted. "More importantly, the truly nefarious part of the plan hadn't unfolded yet!"</p><p>"I was gonna ask about that," said Mercury. "As humiliating as getting blown out in baseball was, if we'd gotten rid of those meddling kids it would have been worth it. But they got away, too. What even was going to happen to them?"</p><p>At that moment, a Bullhead airship came roaring in. It was on fire. It swept close enough over Team Nefarious that its engine wash knocked Mercury and Emerald to the ground. They had a fleeting vision of the word "Screwball" emblazoned on its hull.</p><p>It crashed into the student dugout and exploded.</p><p>Cinder sighed as Mercury and Emerald's eyes were wide with horror. "Ten minutes early," Cinder said, checking her scroll. "Even that part of the plan didn't work right. It was supposed to crash in during the late innings, after we'd established dominance and were draining the hope from their broken spirits."</p><p>Her shoulders slumped. "We need to do something to take my mind off things. Suggest something to entertain me, peons."</p><p>"Something to entertain you?" Mercury said skeptically. "Like, come up with things to do for fun?"</p><p>"I know that burning you alive would be fun," said Cinder, holding fire in her hands, "so unless you can think of something else..."</p><p>Emerald and Mercury exchanged panicked glances. "Um…" said Emerald, thinking like lightning, "…team-themed manis and pedis?"</p><p>Cinder stared them down for another moment, then sighed. The fire went out. "What the hell. It's worth a shot."</p><hr/><p>
  <em>RWBY-JNPR wins. Final score… oh, who cares.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Next time: the after-party: <span>rejected </span>RWBY-JNPR sports shorts!</em>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0007"><h2>7. Aftermath</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>"Alright, everyone," said Ruby, calling the teams to order, "what's next on our list of sports to play?"</p><p>"We hit all the major ones already," said Jaune. "I figured we were done."</p><p>"We're not done until I say we're done!" declared Ruby. "Now start spouting ideas so we can do the next big thing!"</p><p>"Auto racing!" Yang said, pumping her fist. "If it's got an engine, it's in. Fastest vehicle wins!"</p><p>Weiss rolled her eyes. "So you'd be racing against yourself."</p><p>"Come on, you're trying to tell me the Schnee family doesn't have a whole warehouse of vehicles back home?" Yang prodded.</p><p>"Of course we do," said Weiss indignantly. "But I didn't bring any. They would have been a real hassle to bring through customs, and father refused to transfer a driver full-time to Vale."</p><p>"Transfer a… you mean you don't know how to drive yourself?"</p><p>Weiss blinked at Yang, unable to process the question.</p><p>"You never learned to drive?" Yang said, slowly and carefully.</p><p>"Why would I?" said Weiss, matching Yang's tone.</p><p>Yang gave up. "Any of the rest of you jokers have your own wheels?"</p><p>Blake, Ren, Nora, Jaune, and Ruby all shook their heads. Only Pyrrha raised her hand. "I have a car, a truck, and a motorcycle," she said. "Three different sponsorship deals. But they're all back in Mistral."</p><p>"Why didn't you bring them? At least the motorcycle," Yang pouted. "I'd have loved to tool around with you!"</p><p>"I actually can't drive either," said Pyrrha.</p><p>"Whaaaaat?" said Nora, gob-smacked. "But I saw your commercials!"</p><p>"The commercials were... exaggerated," said Pyrrha, "using some clever video editing and a body double."</p><p>Jaune looked at Pyrrha and communicated wordlessly that he wasn't the only one who'd lived a lie. She blushed.</p><p>"We could all take turns on Bumblebee," said Ruby hopefully.</p><p>Yang had a sudden vision in her head of Taiyang trying to teach Ruby to drive, and the cruel, undeserved fate of her father's car. Poor, poor Zippy… "Let's try something else," Yang said.</p><p>"There's track-and-field," Ruby offered. "That's a whole collection of different sports, so everyone is sure to find something they're good at."</p><p>Jaune sighed. "It wouldn't be fair at all."</p><p>"What? Why not?"</p><p>"Well, track-and-field has power events, like the hammer throw, and Pyrrha and Nora for us could compete against Yang on your team."</p><p>"So far, so good," said Ruby.</p><p>"And it has agility events, and Ren and Pyrrha would go against your Weiss and Blake."</p><p>"Still with you."</p><p>"And it has speed events. Tell me who, exactly, is beating <em>you</em> in a footrace."</p><p>Ruby glanced around a bit. "No one," she murmured.</p><p>"I say we should do golf," said Weiss.</p><p>"I could be on board with that!" said Nora. "Except for those darn windmills, I hate those things!"</p><p>"Windm… no, not <em>mini</em>-golf," said Weiss scornfully. "Actual golf, the full version!"</p><p>"Aww," whined Nora. "But I wanted to hit the ball into the gator's mouth for a free roooound!"</p><p>"I played a round of golf at a press junket, once," said Pyrrha. "I didn't care for it."</p><p>"Yeah, everyone knows golf is just an excuse for day-drinking anyway," said Yang. "If we're gonna do that, let's at least play something more fun and less sweaty. Like pool!"</p><p>Weiss frowned. "At a bar?"</p><p>"That's where you find pool tables."</p><p>Jaune and Pyrrha both preemptively turned green. Blake shook her head. "I came to this school so I <em>wouldn't</em> be complicit in yet more arson and property damage."</p><p>"I don't need another glass of wine," said Ren. "I'm still working on my last one."</p><p>Yang goggled at Ren. "How long has it been, now? Days? Weeks?"</p><p>"Some things are meant to be savored," he replied.</p><p>"If not pool," Pyrrha said, "then why not something you play <em>in</em> a pool?"</p><p>"Like…?" said Ruby curiously.</p><p>"Water polo," explained Pyrrha.</p><p>The other students blinked at Pyrrha. Finally Jaune spoke for all of them. "You've never played football, but you've played water polo?"</p><p>"No, actually," said Pyrrha bashfully, "but my trainers included swimming in my curriculum in case there were water obstacles at the Mistral Championships. When I was at the pool, I saw other people playing water polo, and I thought, That sure looks like fun…"</p><p>"Does anyone know the rules?" Weiss asked.</p><p>After a long silence that spoke volumes, Blake said, "So it's a swimming game?"</p><p>"Yes," Pyrrha nodded.</p><p>Blake's ears went flat to her skull. "I'm not doing it. I like swimming even less than I like ice."</p><p>It took all of Yang's effort to resist a "but you like fish" type of joke, and she only bothered because Ruby seemed so dead set on finding another sport for them to play. "Why not Nega-Inverse Ninja Jutsu Apocalypse?" she offered. "We can do it tournament style."</p><p>"Yeah!" shouted Ruby, rallying instantly to the notion. "That's the best! We can get everyone involved and do an official register for it and submit the log to the leaderboards…"</p><p>"So long as we do it with NINJA 3," Yang interrupted.</p><p>"No way! NINJA 2 is the best!" Ruby protested.</p><p>"You've lost your mind, sis," said Yang. "Not only does NINJA 3 have the better graphics and a better-balanced roster, it has the best tag line in the series." She appeared to be doing a sort of Ren imitation when she spoke next. "'Nega-Inverse Ninja Justu Apocalypse 3: If we have to explain it to you, you're already dead'."</p><p>"NINJA 3's combo system is totally broken!" scoffed Ruby. "And a 'balanced roster' just means all the characters have the same moves. Now NINJA 2—<em>that's</em> a game where you can really show your mastery of your mains. And its tag-line is much, <em>much</em> better!" She posed dramatically. "'NINJA 2: You'll be dead before you finish reading the subtitles'."</p><p>"And that's why dubbed versions are superior," said Yang smugly.</p><p>Ruby gasped. "Blasphemer!"</p><p>"Guys," said Jaune, "most of us don't play video games like you two do, and those of us who do don't play those."</p><p>Ruby crossed her arms with a huff. "Well, there's gotta be <em>something</em>," she insisted.</p><p>The group descended into an unsatisfied silence. Each one tried ticking off sports and activities in their heads. At last, a voice broke through.</p><p>"Table tennis?" said Ren.</p><p>"You mean ping-pong?" said Yang.</p><p>Ren gave her a curious look that made Yang shift uncomfortably.</p><p>"Fine, table tennis, whatever," she mumbled.</p><p>"Any objections?" said Ruby.</p><p>"Where are we going to find enough tables?" asked Blake.</p><p>"Next door to the east wing teacher's lounge," said Ren.</p><p>Now everyone was staring at him. The corners of his mouth moved up an infinitesimal amount. It was enough to let everyone know that he would never, ever divulge how he knew that little factoid.</p><p>"Fine," sighed Ruby.</p><hr/><p>Somehow, they weren't the only people who knew about the table tennis room. Team CFVY was leaving just as RWBY and JNPR arrived. Except…</p><p>"Don't bother," said Coco, adjusting her sunglasses in an ineffectual attempt to hide her irritation.</p><p>"The tables are in use," said Velvet, more helpfully.</p><p>Ruby blinked, not comprehending. "All of them?"</p><p>"All of them," confirmed Velvet.</p><p>"I am not caffeinated enough to deal with this," Coco grumbled. "Come on, let's blow this joint."</p><p>The rest of CFVY followed their leader, but the other students didn't leave with them. "There's no way they can <em>all</em> be in use, right?" said Yang, going for the door.</p><p>Tik-atik-atik-atik-atik…</p><p>"Salutations!"</p><p>Tik-atik-atik-atik-atik…</p><p>"Hi, Penny," said Ruby, her eyes wide. "What… um… what are you doing?"</p><p>"I am glad you asked. I have been encouraged to experiment with hobbies, especially hobbies that keep me in one place for an extended period of time," Penny explained. "I decided I would try the ping pong."</p><p>"And…" Ruby swallowed. "This is your idea of 'trying'?"</p><p>"Oh, yes!" said Penny. "It has been very enjoyable to this point."</p><p>The two teams collectively blinked.</p><p>There were four tables in the room. Two of Penny's daggers were floating above each table, turned so that their flats acted as paddles. Each set of daggers was bouncing one ball between them, with every set in almost perfect synchrony with the others.</p><p>Tik-atik-atik-atik-atik-atik…</p><p>"I enjoy infinite games," Penny said, nodding to herself and surveying her domain. "Games where the objective is to continue playing are the best games. Whoops…" One of the ping-pong balls slipped past her dagger. Another dagger had been hovering on that side of the tables; it dove down and bounced the ball back to its proper place. A few seconds later it had rejoined its fellows, tik-atik-atik-atik-atik-atik…</p><p>"That's better," said Penny with satisfaction. "It had been thirteen minutes since the last time I dropped a ball. That's a ten percent increase from my last streak. I'm improving!"</p><p>Yang's shoulders slumped. She looked over her shoulder at the combined teams. "We're not getting to use the tables, are we?"</p><p>Blake sighed. "At this point, I'm pretty much done with sports."</p><p>"Me too," agreed Weiss. "JNPR, I have avenged Atlas' honor. You're forgiven."</p><p>"Lucky… us?" said a bewildered Pyrrha.</p><p>"I think I'll start on dinner," said Ren. "Not pancakes," he added, before Nora could speak.</p><p>"Aww…"</p><p>Most of the members of Teams RWBY and JNPR left the room and went their separate ways. Ruby lingered, watching wordlessly. Penny didn't seem bothered by her attention. She kept her eyes on the balls, and occasionally hummed a few tuneless notes.</p><p>Tik-atik-atik-atik-atik-atik…</p><p>It could have been uncanny, Ruby supposed, and to others it might have been. She found it… almost hypnotic. Reassuring. Steady.</p><p>"I like it," she said aloud. "It's like the beating of your mechanical heart."</p><p>Penny beamed. "Is that what they call 'poetry'?"</p><p>"I wouldn't know about that," Ruby said bashfully. "I just thought it was neat."</p><p>"I appreciate that," said Penny.</p><p>"But you know…" Ruby said, approaching the closest table, "I like things you can do with your friends. Did you know you can play ping-pong with other people?"</p><p>Penny's eyes were wide. "You <em>can</em>?"</p><p>With a Huntress' reflexes Ruby snatched the ball out of midair. With her other hand, she gripped the dagger that was still floating there, adapting it for use as her paddle. She looked at Penny and smiled.</p><p>"I'll teach you."</p><hr/><p>
  <em>End</em>
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